Black twitter is such a dark and evil place now like it’s really really bad now. Idk why I still read on there. My mental health would be so much better if I just deleted that app. But I feel out of the loop when I don’t go on there.

Lost so much of my life to self hate AND to lessened opportunities & immobility bc of my weight … I really support women of all shapes and sizes dating, traveling, dressing how they want, and living life. I wish I didn’t hide & shrink bc of my body.

Only thing I regret is all the self hate and negativity and bullying I experienced bc of my weight. I think even if your weight is a problem you still deserve to look nice and live a normal life. This is why I support plus size creators. I lost so much of my life to self hate

& nobody even talks about how all the weight really morphs your face & limbs into something unrecognizable. I lift up my arms sometimes & I’m like wow I can’t believe im even able to use this limb with all this on here.

“Just love your body!” Why would I love something that’s actively killing me & causing me harm? I love my body for keeping me alive despite all the neglect I caused it. I want out of all this fat! just could never get over the damn food addiction. & I think I’m finally making some progress.

Like I don’t need to be skinny I don’t even been to be an average weight right now. My goal is just that I just cannot be morbidly obese anymore I just can’t. My body is weighing me down literally.

The visceral fat just has to go. And I’m getting an insurance sponsored breast reduction as soon as possible bc the cysts, the raw skin, the bacteria and sweat that is up under here and has bothered me for years is just enough

Like just the sheer size & heaviness of my stomach & breasts is enough for me to lose weight it’s just painful seriously painful. & my weight & where I carry it is based on hormonal issues I probably wouldn’t care about being this size if so much of my weight wasn’t in my stomach

Thankfully I’ve lost about 20lbs now but I’m trying to keep it off & as much as they try to shame GLP-1s I’ve been overweight since I was a little kid I don’t care anymore I’m getting it. & it’s not even about the aesthetics. The physical pain & immobility is just far too much

I feel like this is a semi safe space to say this. But I really do not like being obese. It is not fun & I would rather not be this size. Mental health issues & food addiction since I was single digit ages have led me to be trapped in this meat prison.

Yall remember cactus 🌵 app? Whatever happened to that

I’m moonmouf on the new app everyone is talking about

Oh wow thank god I downloaded new vent app thank u lord I will most likely be using that app as long as it stays pretty active bc I did NOT like any of the other alternatives. Bluesky I was getting a bit accustomed to will probably still use this for casual posting

wait what app is this

Appointment with the derm tomorrow is a go I asked my mom to use family uber and she added me to the account. Will also just charge her card the $40 copay 😅. I want to be not afraid and stressed about going to the doctors

These $40-$25 dollar copay’s are so useless. The actual appointments are hundreds which the insurance covers. These copays are just so they can get any kind of money out of you which is annoying. Just cover the whole thing my mom pays several hundred a month for 30+ yrs. Stop charging me!

But I’m not taking all these Advils everyday I took one last night I’m only taking one a day. The thing is it clears up on its own which it did last time. But I still want medical treatment and assessment and professional help to better get a hold of this. I shouldn’t need to PAY $40 for assessment

& it’s so painful bc I have large breasts & the flare up is right in the crease and it spreads to the outer part of my breasts. So any friction or movement of my breast pulls at the flare up growth and it hurts so fucking bad. My energy is depleted. Advil helps a lot

I’m in so much pain I legit don’t even care I’m gonna find the $40 and use the uber Wednesday if my mom says yes. I literally can’t take this pain anymore it’s horrible. I almost passed out in the shower earlier from the pain I could barely bend down.

using at home remedies like tea tree oil & tiger balm to treat HS when I should be able to see a damn dermatologist. I have freaking PPO insurance in network why do I have to pay ANYTHING just to get an assessment? I don’t even know if I have HS I’m just assuming bc of the nature of flare ups

Why is everything gatekept by fucking money. I can’t even see the dermatologist without paying $40 & I’m in excruciating pain. I was already gonna have to ask my mother to use the family uber account to afford to go to the office bc it’s all the way downtown. Now I have to find more $

I don’t enjoy food anymore at all. And the few times I do rarely it’s when I binge and that’s few a far between now a days. Mentally I’m still eff’d up about food.

I was 299lbs back in may. I weighed myself not too long ago like a week and a half ago and I was 271. My family keeps mentioning that I lost weight too so they can see it. The thing is my diet is still not the best I’ve just been eating considerably less bc I just don’t feel good anymore

I wish I could just enjoy a sweet treat or greasy food without feeling like shit and sadly I’ve fucked up my body to the point that I can’t I think I’m gonna make another appointment with my ed psychologist. I need to take my weight loss seriously

I wanna cry I’m so miserable. Food addiction is sooooo ugh like I can’t even enjoy food anymore bc I’ve binged and ate unhealthy for so long that I will legit kill myself if I continue to do so my body actually can’t handle it anymore

Idk why it’s so hard to have a high protein diet but also balanced. I like McDonald’s and fast food & quick stuff. Eating healthy is expensive & takes so long. Healthy quick food (that I really like) is so far away from me or expensive

If I don’t fixate on macros I’ll make myself sick bc literally when I eat naturally my diet is majority fat & carbs which is why my pcos is so bad now & my hs is flaring up like crazy. And it’s why I was borderline diabetic and hbp last year. And it’s why I been having high cholesterol since a kid

y am I such a sensitive person not only mentally but physically. I’m trying to eat healthier but it feels like a chore & im starting to hate food. Apparently it’s bc im fixating too much on macros and bc food is not giving me the reward it used to.

food

Libra dad Virgo mom