Good symmetry in that Rowan Atkinson could pull off playing Columbo in a Red Nose Day telethon sketch

MONSIEUR VERDOUX but with a more nuanced actor than Charlie Chaplin (not a tough ask)

Middling Dirk Bogarde film SEBASTIAN

Martin Short-Annette O’Toole romcom CROSS MY HEART. Same cast.

Vampires are back in, so fuck it, LOVE AT FIRST BITE

John Cleese comedy CLOCKWISE. Cleese banned from set.

Enough TV, Movies:

Long-anticipated remake of the late William Castle joint LET’S KILL UNCLE

Septology based on the George Hamilton-Suzanne Pleshette thriller THE POWER

THE PHANTOM Cinematic Universe, with a different lead actor in each film

C.H.U.D., but as a metaphor for late-stage capitalism

Tron-cop show AUTOMAN (this time with good fx)

Robo-cop sitcom HOLMES & YOYO

Remember the first season of SNL when the Muppets had a segment about the aliens on planet Scorch? A whole show of that.

THe Dennis Farina cop-show CRIME STORY, but stealing the name of the other cop show THE HAT SQUAD

The Shatner-helmed western BARBARY COAST

Doctor Who ripoff VOYAGERS! (RIP himbo king Jon-Erik Hexum)

Post-nuclear war sitcom WOOPS!

Bob-Denver-needs-weed-money-helmed Western sitcom DUSTY’S TRAIL

Animated flop THE BROTHERS GRUNT (trust me, I can fix this one)

MANIMAL

OK, buckle in, people, I have a lot of ideas:

First, TV:

Top priority: THE SECRET DIARY OF DESMOND PFEIFFER

Pilgrim-themed sitcom THANKS!

Space comedy QUARK

The Jeff Goldblum-helmed 7 ep’per cop-ghost show RAINES

Speaking of JG, TENSPEED AND BROWN SHOE reboot

(1/∞)

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Who is AHAB Rocky?

Thank there-is-no-god for China

The Big Breakfast YouTube video by Tom Cardy

Pavlovian link

www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHIH...

This is one of the funniest fucking things I have ever seen in my life

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Gravity is the second-strongest forced in the universe.

The first is horniness.

Remington Steele’s chauffeur

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Good for her, moving from the Little Death to the Big Death

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Mr. McFeely was on the grassy knoll

Her conception may have been immaculate, but her connections suck ass

This is chucklefuck erasure

“As the Chosen People, we get to choose for everyone else.”

Pass the HP sauce

I mean, not *completely* unfuckable

Why have you flushaken me

Healing the lechers

Guess Who’s Coming To Dorf On Golf?

Be fair, this is the only option left after the CDC and NIH are dismantled

In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the HOLY SHIT

Kilroy Whizzed Here

against

What an offal way to go

What is the toilet on the Artemis II mission?