Joke answer: Picture Of Shrek

Real answer: Too busy holding back tears to be clever

BIRTHDAY POWER IS FUCKIN' FAKE

Streaming tonight at 8:00, tonight we are employing BIRTHDAY POWER which is unstoppable

"big stupid baby head"

It also kills me all the ways they find to describe how crazy he looks as just, like, a human being. The woman who describes him as "husky" and then has to clarify she means like the dog is such a wild line to write about what your actual living co-worker looks like.

My biggest takeaway from Justified so far (now mid-S4) is that while Walton Goggins absolutely should have the career he's had over the last 10 years they should have made a copy for Jere Burns, too

Clockwise from top left: Mango Jam (with salted vanilla glaze), cinnamon sugar, coconut cream (my favorite, which is why there are 4), maple bacon jam (for my wife) and brownie batter. From Pip's here in Portland, freshly fried.

Fuck yah free birfday donuts

It's sooooo sweet that people are responding to this little message of goodwill with likes and birthday wishes and not, say, requesting my shipping address and a window when I could be home to receive high-cost consumer electronics.

...semi-pornographic Cruise For Bone adventure hook?!!

A birthday message YouTube video by Plumberduck42

Feeling a little reflective on my 42nd birthday today, turned on the camera to try to get some thoughts down on what really matters youtube.com/shorts/MdmsI...

Streaming tonight at 8 p.m. I have tried every attitude and strategy I can cook up to help beat the Elden Ring Nightreign DLC's final boss, and they've all failed, so this week I have decided to fall back on the ultimate technique: Whining. I'm gonna whine this bastard to death.

Some thoughts on 3D platformers, which are pretty fun right up until they hit the limit of playability.

"I tried to play it and the frames per second hurt my eyes" then you have allowed your brain to be trained to care about shit that matters way less than whether a game whips ass

I do my damnedest to avoid all gaming discourses du jour but if you loaded up Bloodborne (all of 11 years and one console generation old) right now and tried to tell me its play isn't slick as hell and its world isn't absolutely gorgeous than you are A Baby, and Not One Of The Smart Ones.

screenshot from Rise of the Golden Idol. Interior, aviary. A woman in a bird-keeper's uniform is assaulted by a number of large, crazed exotic birds. A man in a matching uniform lies on the ground, bloody and motionless. A squat, goofy-looking bird sits to the side with an expression of oblivious serenity.

RISE OF THE GOLDEN IDOL (🎮 2024)

More GOLDEN IDOL is good, but RISE is just kinda worse along most axes. CASE was a portrait of a rot that bubbled and grew and ultimately blossomed into terror; RISE is a disjointed and unfocused landscape dotted with bumbling randos randomly bumbling.

Balls Up proves man cannot live on dick jokes alone A soccer-themed Hangover based around repetitive condom humor, Balls Up is never as absurd as its premise.

I spent the morning with 100 minutes of bad dick jokes because Balls Up will be autoplaying on everyone’s Amazon this weekend www.avclub.com/balls-up-rev...

If you've never done it, it's not immediately obvious, but that first step he does is probably the second-hardest step of the whole thing. (To the point that they put a safe spot under it because it's so hard.) You're watching someone NAIL that, and then fall all the way back down. Tremendous.

The thing about The Manbreaker is that after you do The Manbreaker there's nothing quite like watching someone else absolutely fuck up The Manbreaker.

A few thoughts on THE CHRISTOPHERS (which I liked!) and Soderbergh’s embrace of AI (which I like a lot less).

I need to be better about saying when I read things that kick ass and Unwinnable's S1 Mad Men recaps have been a highlight of the last few months.

Anatomy Of A Finale: Did DTF St. Louis land its ending? Anatomy Of A Finale: Did DTF St. Louis land its ending?

Had to sneak it in a little late but I participated on our roundtable of reactions to the DTF St. Louis finale. I mean what I say here: I'd love to watch Joy Sunday and Richard Jenkins investigate more weird crimes www.avclub.com/dtf-st-louis...

I can tank a lot of stuff in games but I can't imagine doing fascist in DE because imagining Kim hating you by the end of the game is such a bummer

YOUR SUPPORT DID NOTHING

Streaming at 8 tonight! Failure parade continues! Only your support can help!

Person Of Interest is THE show I think more people would lose their minds over if they just looked past the trappings and watched it and Nolan was fantastic in it

DIDNT

Streaming at 8 p.m. Pacific tonight, as our plucky lil' three-person team attempts to beat The Douglord in Elden Ring: Nightreign. This is our 8th night of tries! It'll probably happen!

I'm just saying this would be a banger opening to a Godzilla movie, five minutes of watching the capsule come down and then GULP

Leviathan, which slumbers beneath the surface of the world's oceans and hungers eternal, just missed the chance to play the funniest game of "Catch" ever.