I bought a coach bag last night and then promptly the canceled the order. I consider that my win for the week. Wanted it, but didn’t need it.

Dear Apple, what happened? Why does iOS suck so hard now! Seriously 45 minutes later you give me an alert?

Why do I feel this is what most republicans in DC looked like after last night’s State of the Union?

Obligatory post haircut selfie. Am I truly a gay if I don’t take one and post it?

That would lead me to spinning. Lots of spinning.

Sounds suspicious. Do you feel the need to get naked and dance in a field?

If this was my alt id say penis, but I will just say a cookie?

Started coming to EOS (a gym) since there is one by work. At the one by my house, it’s so weird working out in a former call center you used to work in. I actually think the piece of equipment I was on is where I used to sit.

This week, month, year, called for a beverage…

Barrio Bomba:
Patrón Silver tequila, Cointreau, pineapple and fresh squeezed orange juice, with grenadine and a sugared rim.

Very good.

What I think the man who drives this truck thinks “I have a tiny penis, I can’t park too far away from the store, everyone might know I have a tiny penis, and I have to make a quick getaway.”

Also he need needs to park like a douchecanoe and block traffic.

Please somebody help Robyn get out of the corner. www.instagram.com/reel/DTOiUAX...

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If I stare at the sun long enough I might see what I’m missing? That or I will go blind, and then I won’t see all the stupid in the world any more. Either way I’ll be winning.

That’s the best part. A political orifice.

UFO in the western sky of Phoenix tonight January 2, 2026. Did our alien overloads finally come visit, saw what was going on, and then turned around and left?

At least it wasn’t until 1am or later this year. I have a feeling it was because it was cold and rainy.

It makes me fearful for what tonight will be like.

I see you….

Their world is back in order. Also “there’s booms 🎆 outside dad!”

Stopping for food but minutes away from being home. I tip my hat to over the road truckers. I know their trucks are lightyears better than a U-Haul, but my short 9 hour drive nearly killed me. #notfitforthatlife #sogladthatsover

That’s a great bulge.

This is me before 6-8 hours on a u-haul, I will keep you updated on my back, knees, and hips. Not looking good. #badroadtrip

I don’t know why people keep trusting me with these things? Also U-haul could you give like 2 more inches of space in the passenger cab? Come on. #tallpeopleproblems #verticallychallenged

Is this considered DEI? Is MAGA gonna lose their shit over this? Nah…

You just know Elon has tried to with SpaceX.

3 days. Dude Michael’s had it out 2 weeks ago. The hotel I am staying at has all their Christmas put up and it gone.

However, CVS yesterday still had full price Christmas stuff out.

I’m a content creator now. Deal with it.

Is that an offer?

I am changing my will say,

“Light a match, burn it all, roast some marshmallows, and kiss my ass goodbye.”

The pups are not excited. I do not mind cold but wet and cold… brr.

Can I just say how much I love the fact that my Instagram algorithm right now is all about heated rivalry and not political or Christmas. It brings so much joy of my life.