I am such a good cook!

I did not burn down the kitchen and I only set fire to one dish towel!!!! One!!!

I just wanted to take a minute to say a couple of nice things about my three wood while there’s still time.

It was a really terrific golf club yesterday.

Chump keeps threatening to commit war crimes …

Because he’s so dumb that threatening to continue acting like a criminal is quite literally all he can think of.

So instead of banning conversion therapy, we could just ban conversion therapists.

Like get a list of everyone who provides that service and make it so that they’re no longer able to practice therapy of any kind.

Just floating ideas out there.

I think this one is a winner.

Isn’t the progress on the war of choice with Iran going great?

So much progress you wouldn’t believe it.

So much progress that I bet you’re sick of it.

I re-wrote the Pledge of Allegiance. It’s WAY better.
Enjoy!

“The United States of America pledges its allegiance to all citizens and to the constitution that binds us. One nation, indivisible, and the leaders must provide and defend liberty and justice for all, or die trying.”

I wasn’t too sure earlier in the season, but after beating OKC comfortably yesterday, I’m saying the Celtics are for real.
That was impressive.

THE USA IS REQUIRED BY TREATY TO PROCESS ASYLUM SEEKERS (1967 UN protocol signatory), not turn them away.

SCOTUS knows this. Any SCOTUS member attempting to undo this is DELIBERATELY VIOLATING THE LAW.

Donald Trump is so convinced that voting by mail is bad and “cheating” and fraudulent that he…

Just voted by mail.

You can’t make this shit up.

No one would believe that there was anyone dumb enough to believe it.

100% TRUMP

NATO calls Trump a “moron” for still not understanding NATO, and then challenges him to an arm wrestling match to find out who the real “cowards” are.

Trump TACOed. Again.

What an obvious coward…

Diplomatic notes for future American presidents:

When in the company of the Japanese Prime Minister, try to avoid making jokes about Pearl Harbor.

Idiot.

He STILL has no idea how NATO works. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
What a dipshit.
Zero NATO members are under attack in any wars they didn’t freely choose.

It’s not a group that has to do whatever you want them to do, fuckface. You chose a war. Your choice. Not theirs.

Idiot.

How is Bondi moving to a military base going to make her “safer”?

Those people are LITERALLY ALL armed, and most of them hate her even more than the average US civilian does.

😂😂😂

“I don’t believe he (Khameni) can live in peace”, says utter fuckwit who literally started the war, in a record setting spasm of unintentional irony and lack of self-awareness.

Current military actions in Iran are code named Operation Epstein Fury

In New England, winter time comes in stages. And we have now reached the Go Flying Facefuck Yourself Stage.

👍. That is all.

Ghislane (in costume):
“Donald, you remember Melania.
Just like before, except with tits now.”

How about if the governors just meet on their own, and exclude the orange disease?

Sounds more productive, and less fussy baby bullshit.

Mitch the Glitch just went to the hospital!

Die, fascist, die!!!!!

Today, POTUS criticized a journalist for not smiling more… while asking questions about mass child rape.

Let that sink in.

You should smile more… while you ask me questions… about the raped children….

He couldn’t look like more of a demented sociopath if he tried.

Failing to redact victims names is DELIBERATE.
They are releasing them UNREDACTED ON PURPOSE as punishment for the victims existing in a way that pains The Nodfather.

It’s DELIBERATE.

Sure, everyone knows that Trump is a child rapist. But did you know that the person that he appointed to run the fed just the other day is also a child rapist?

Shocker, right?

Never saw that one coming.
Oh wait. We all did.

Trump murdered two people in cold blood.

Trump: “it’s their fault that I murdered them.”

Of… course it is, pumpkin.
There, there.

Take your fucking Aricept you demented clown.

Make Way for Fucklings!!!
Best photo from the storm.

“I never thought that the leopards would eat my face” say thousands of right leaning Cuban immigrants in Florida as Trump completely betrays and deports them.

Shocker. So surprising.