pot roast is just beef you cook at 420°

does it have a tiny gps?

accents are funny it’s like how tf does your voice know where you were born?

thank you i am

yes. he still didn’t care.

they still owe you an apology

what an asshole

you deserve at the very least a text wtf

also this one time i got my pocketbook stolen at the movies when i went to see titanic & did leo ever replace it for me? nope.

wtf you should sue

i once threw up at a smashing pumpkins concert and billy corgan has yet to ask me if i’m feeling any better.

someone told me it’s called the mall bc you don’t just want to go to one store you want to go to them all. and now i can’t sleep.

tanguy destable is probably the fake name id give an annoying guy hitting on me at the beach

was it a ska band?

paleguy denotstable

tanguy destable is probably the fake name id give an annoying guy hitting on me at the beach

i love her and would like to have whatever type of autism she has

My favorite film genre is two horny dogs eating spaghetti

in the name of the father, the son and the Tarantino

if only

no. it has to be a glory hole. scientifically

my drafts may have some real good ideas in them idk

my kid’s pediatrician going to get her a lollipop after her shots

British person (watching Sesame Street): My favorite is the Biscuit Monster

Dracula must hate it when sees a delicious neck but he *just* brushed his teeth

Stacy, your mother and I are in love

If your palms are sweaty that just means someone is talking about spaghetti

no one cares, kayleigh

i don’t give a fuck what you wore to coachella the world is ending

please protect her at all costs.