i’m gonna take this marijuana on a walk now

In the Navy

An illustration of a woman painting in the outdoors. She’s surrounded by deer as she paints on her canvas. We see a large tree framing the composition and two deer resting on the ground surrounded by flowers.

Woodland Painting 🪵🎨 #art

My partner & I were trying to ID a bird we heard while walking and the guy who had stopped his car to let us pass got out and was like "it's a frog, actually. Cope's Gray. I do frog surveys... Sorry" And then got in his car without a word and drove off. Absolute king

Panel 1 Gwen was sitting in her bed with her phone when her brothers come in. This doesn't bother her. Junior: Mom and Dad are fighting. Can we stay in here? Gwen: Sure. Panel 2 Gwen's youngest brother speak up. He wants to watch a cartoon they used to watch when they were younger. Gwen doesn't dislike it, but she's surprised he'd want to watch something so cute and wholesome. Tanner: Can we watch the dog cartoon? Gwen: Really? It's so cutesy. Panel 3 The sound of arguing comes through the door. The siblings all jump slightly. This isn't new but it's still not pleasant. Dad: YOU'RE BEING A- Mom: STOP YELLING YOU FAT- Dad: I'M NOT YELLING! Panel 4 Gwen brings her brothers onto her bed. She thinks all three of them could probably use a good cutesy cartoon. Gwen: Which episode? Tanner: The space one.

Escape - Gator Days

ranch dressing should be sold and marketed by viscosity

Popping my mouth stitches by eating Mac and cheese

“with Twitter going down again and again and again I couldn’t help but wonder, when will I find a man to go down on-“

Screencap from the television show the Simpsons showing mojo the monkey in a diaper fat and disoriented in a filthy Simpsons living room

me on day one of a three day weekend

closing down the banger factory & opening up a small batch cringe boutique

"johnston could i get the earnings report?"

"it's looking good sir"

"excellent. and what about the yearnings report?"

"i miss my wife sir"

Bandaids are for the weak just suck on your open wound until it doesn’t taste like pennies anymore you’ll be fine

"Fox tonight 7/6c Futurama King of the hill The Simpsons Malcolm in the middle The X-Files

We used to be a proper country

When you are faced with an unexpected social interaction: FAINT DIE CRY SHOW TATTOO FLEE Of course they overlook the classic stress fart…

It's not enough for adults to tolerate children in public spaces. I want adults to ✨️participate✨️ in childhood magic. Overpay at lemonade stands, cackle at them from the windows of your dilapidated mansion, force them to bring you supplies when you're on the lam, that kind of thing

The reason you're having trouble concentrating if you are here in the US is because we're basically being chased around by serial killers and being asked to disregard the fact.

They were great thank fuck tho

Hoping so much this dentist visit isn’t horrible please please let this dentist be nice

I hated that bro was smiling and wearing a ditto shirt through this while talking about shit that’s gonna be used to kill kids

Caged Fangs~

Part of my Cage Dress series. I've been so busy with other things, it's nice to finish a proper painting again.

do any of these people actually know what medicaid is?

I understand why it's like this, but I will never forgive the web for shifting to a form where the two paragraphs of information I need only exist as a ten-minute video.

*seductively slowing down as I approach your dangerous curves ahead*

me: it's crazy when I was in middle school I read books like a fiend I would rip through a 500 page book in a few days what happened to me

also me: can't go more than 47 seconds without looking at my phone

Cached (mostly) US Kindle giveaway: 10 copies each of Mira Grant's Parasitology trilogy -- Parasite, Symbiont, and Chimera. Hey, did you know that Mira Grant is actually a pseudonym that @seananmcguire.bsky.social uses? Most people don't!

#KindleBookGiveaway