it is impossible to know the location of my phone and the tv clicker at the same time

why the cat walked out the room when i started singing

a man in a suit and tie is wearing sunglasses and saying hello ladies . ALT: a man in a suit and tie is wearing sunglasses and saying hello ladies .

every girlfriend ive ever had has been attacked by random dogs

sometimes i just be listening to some mcelroys and then hear @sailorsctaustin.blacksky.app’s voice pop up and im like dang that’s my worstie for real on @maximumfun.org (cc @nerdmysteries.bsky.social)

i feel like they’re adding more green and red gummy bears lately. haribo pls confirm

a rainbow and a star with the words " make you know " on it ALT: a rainbow and a star with the words " make you know " on it

when one of my thighs equals two of yours and you’re STILL taking up more room on the bus?

sir. that’s a manspread.

this is meant to be catastrophic. he was supposed to say the words and be seen and understood and held.

instead, he offers actual assistance, actions, not words. which is, in the context of the musical, a bad thing.

white people, man.

"He Wanted to Say" - Ragtime YouTube video by Lincoln Center Theater

such a trippy song from #ragtime but also so subtly (accidentally) brilliant

younger brother spends nearly the whole song explaining away his white guilt and then offers the actually useful thing at the very end.

youtu.be/cmVb9CYWVRo?...

honestly that’s not even the part that bothers me. it’s just…you’re in sf. read the room??? who made this decision??? is it for april fools?

damn philz how you gon be a bay area coffee shop with explicitly no pride flags

come over pls

i think i wanna invent a new color

my client asked me if i wanted “just the gross margins” on a call today and i wanted to ask for the nastiest, filthiest margins he had

Fellas, is it socialist to not want defenestration?

i will literally never be able to spell the word separate correctly the first time.

oooooh creatine

the too drawer of my filing cabinet at work is exclusively lobby candy and antidepressants (so candy and brain candy)

“grace” indeed…

YES

im like. not into braveheart

mustn’t one first go forth before coming back

what we need right now is a super cut of every time someone on a reality show has said either:

- get this thing off of me

OR

- stop filming/get away from me

yeah. that’s what we need.

POC’s desperate proximity to Whiteness will forever be dangerous.

im my only favorite in teams and that just feels right

ill send her down (her name is mitch)

my anxiety knows NO BOUNDS

Donate to Get Bree to London!, organized by Bree Patterson Hello! As some of you may know, I’m Bree and I’ve been a performer/singer/actor for almost 20 y… Bree Patterson needs your support for Get Bree to London!

I got some wild ass news this morning.

On a whim, I applied to further my acting training and I got accepted to the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in London for an advanced acting short-course. I’m still in shock about it, but I do need to raise funds for my time over there. I made a GFM—

holy cow amazing!!

Hey y'all.

A South African dev released a blackity black game during BHM and it's currently getting the usual suspects in the reviews.

Imma grab this up myself anyway, but can we all be some chums and help push the racists out of the reviews? 🙂

esp a white masc??? pls. it’s giving toxic. unfollow me.