I’m going to destroy this robot if it’s the last thing I do.

The first wrestlemania in 12 years I’m not watching. No protest or boycott, I just don’t like the product anymore.

Seriously look at this guy

Had an ocular migraine. Don’t recommend it.

I’ve been to Pittsburgh, I’ll never watch a show set there.

A screenshot of the Apple Music app playing Closer (Nine Inch Noize version)

This whips ass but what the fuck is with the crowd noise?

Don’t have to worry about typing at the docks.

My work computer (that they gave me 6 years ago) just got Windows 11 put on it and I’ve never heard its fan make noises like this.

There’s gonna be so many more straight frogs now.

I didn’t know until just now it was spelled like that. Bummer.

Thinking about… borger

There should be a 6th tier called “Mainline (bad)” and thats where Sunshine should go.

Someone explain to me the mentality of someone who leaves bags full of trash outside their front door. Just throw it out, dude. Walk out to the dumpster.

Sometimes Kirby will step on his poop on the way out of the litter box, which means we need to wash off his foot, which freaks him out so we give him a treat when it’s over….

I think he’s figured this out, so he deliberately steps on his poop, requiring a cleaning, which gets him a treat.

A tweet from Laura Loomer that says in all caps “WOKE MARXIST POPE”

Hatsune Miku has been compromised to a permanent end

He doesn’t have the same passion for deals that dear leader has.

The White House must have a closet full of those that they just hand out to each progressively younger and blonder shill.

I still have a facebook because some of my family is still on there, but at least once a week I get an email saying “here’s your password recovery code.” So now I’m paranoid that this email itself is a phishing scam to get me to click on the link saying I didn’t request it.

We got a big trampoline in the backyard and that thing might just bounce off and end up in my neighbor’s yard and I don’t think they’d be happy about that.

While “Enjoy the Silence” is one of the greatest songs of all time, it’s kind of awkward singing along to it when it gets to the “oh, my little girl” part.

Genuinely surprising that you don’t see creationists making a bigger deal about this.

I worked in an office with like 90% women and it was great. All I had to do was change out the big water jug and everyone was real nice to me.

Mr McDo!

President Deals does it again!

What the hello, man.

One thing I will not be doing is listening to some doofus who was born after 9/11 tell me about cortisol levels.

Depluralize a movie:

Alien

It’s 6 blue jello eggs in a small container.

Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?