Tractor Supply had a sign up saying propane tanks were unavailable due to "lightning strikes" smdh not even nature wants to work anymore

Comedy Pro Tip: if you tell a dumb joke, you're lame and hacky. If you tell five (ideally more) dumb jokes, but you use an even dumber framing device or tag for them, that's a bit you'll be known for.

Fit from the Sioux Falls Stage Awards tonight. Shirt by my incredible partner.

Wore a skirt in public for the first time. Went on stage. Told jokes. Fucking crushed.

#gta6

anime girl taking big sip of beer

Second night opening for Steve Hytner tonight.

Been a pleasure to watch and work with someone with so much practice and experience, and also very cool being 2 degrees of separation from comedy icon and dater of teenagers Jerry Seinfeld.

Discord screenshot. User Raddix Zephyr: "I gave koernermy segregation theme park bumper boat operator hat" [Two images of me in a tan corduroy blazer, prominent droopy mustache, and a woven brimmed hat with a ribbon and feather--the sort someone in a barbershop quartet or The Music Man would wear.] User krunker royale 👑: "the adventures of mark twink"

getting my ass beat in my girlfriend's groupchat

What's up, marks and jabronis? I can't perform my duties as champion of the #SiouxFalls #Comedy contest tonight because Hollywood Koerner's a big time movie star now! Instead, enjoy the following announcement, paid for by the Sioux World Order.

Have just been informed that Anthony Burch, writer of the meme-poisoned Borderlands 2, is performing an hour of stand-up despite never having done it before and I hope that hack tourist bombs so hard they have to update the Geneva Conventions.

MAGA is actually a lot like the nWo when you think about it. Immature manbabies who think being edgy makes them cool. Have no power on paper but for some reason everyone capitulates to them anyway. Way too many members. Slowly ruining the establishments they're part of. Hulk Hogan is there.

The biggest and most immediate red flag from new open mic-ers is "yeah, I'm a big fan of Joe Rogan and Kill Tony."

Amanda Palmer's a bit of a problematic artist, which is why I do the ethical thing and only listen to her music on Spotify so I know she's not making money off me listening.

9 days into the year & this season of America is already WILD 💀

When I grew up the letter X meant that something was xtreme, cool, radical, and honestly I feel bad for the generation that's going to grow up just associating it with the dumbest boy on the internet.

a digital illustration in lineless style featuring old video game consoles, toys, and controllers beaten up with dings and patched bandages, stickers, some partially covered in moss, clover and foliage. consoles include a yellow dreamcast, gray game boy, clear purple cased gameboy advance, yellow clear nintendo 2DS. there’s a blue sony controller, a custom nintendo game cartridge featuring baomii mascots bun + panda, a clear green tamagotchi, and retro wooden case TV with green screen display and a little sprout antenna on the top. the color palette is keyed in a bright cream yellow, featuring grays, yellows, greens, and blues.

retro videogames 💛💫
#art #illust

wait

The hardest part of joining a new social media platform is crafting a good and meaningful first post. Probably going to spend a day or two yet coming up with something and posting then.