Sora going under before it could "kill Hollywood" like the chuds kept threatening is the modern day equivalent of "'Nietzsche is dead'-God."

The only time a CyberTruck is ever allowed in the carpool lane is when it's his weekend with custody.

Fascist Labubu called LickBootBoot...

Is this a thing? I'm 33, I don't know what a Labubu is.

Pouring Veuve Clicquot into a Guinness pint glass and threatening to "Split The G" as a direct affront to my Irish, French teaching mother.

I love my two blackout drunk Minnesota sons

Not to go full "Sam Jonas" on everyone, but I've seen literally dozens of examples in the last week for some reason: the past tense of "cast" is "cast." If I hear you say "casted" I'll drown you in a river.

Company policy

I just mixed Creatine into my Celsius, in case anyone was wondering how my transition into full L.A. Asshole is going...

My main takeaway from Dispatch, RE: Malevola. @charalanahzard.bsky.social

I love cute baby videos of them putting on little goggle/glasses and smiling because they can finally see properly, but I would equally love a video of a baby seeing Earth as it really looks and going "damn, bitch... this really how you livin'?"

A fun thing about my household is we ALL (me, my wife AND our dog) have anxiety, so when we wake up and take our brain pills, this groggy pitbull hears a rattling bottle and comes trotting around the corner looking for her breakfast.

10/10 comedy bit. Gets a laugh every time.

Andor and Peacemaker prove AI will never replace Hollywood jobs. When both projects were announced, people laughed because they were about seemingly random side characters from movies with "warm" receptions at best.

No one asked for these shows, because audiences don't really know what they want.

a man in a yellow jacket has a label on the sleeve that says ' brooks brothers ' on it ALT: a man in a yellow jacket has a label on the sleeve that says ' brooks brothers ' on it

Ryan Murphy when a hunk kind of maybe sorta a little bit looks like one of the worst people in history.

ICE is hiring! US immigration and Customs Enforcement is looking for highly motivated, morally indifferent individuals to join our team. Open positions include: Senior Goon Racism Enforcement Office Unmarked Van Driver (Part-Time) Experience with children a plus usajobs.gov

From this month's edition of The Onion.

In America, if you ask for a beer and they ask if you want a small or large, they usually mean 12oz or 16oz.

In Mexico, I learned (quite graciously) that they're offering you a half gallon of Tecate.

Viva Mexico.

The bloodthirstiness with which people are cheering on the marines going into an American city, is a problem.

Moving into my first LA home, celebrating my one year wedding anniversary, and I *technically* spoke to @hayesdavenport.bsky.social this morning waiting for coffee. Hard to say what's the most exciting part of the day so far!

Months later on a whim, I wrote my first pilot screenplay that I describe as "Cheers meets The Fugitive". I didn't realize at the time, but I was processing my breakup through comedy, through the lens of the first thing that made me happy after. I love Cheers. I love George. Rest in Peace.

It can't be overstated that this is because George Wendt was a genuine master at comedy. It's an overused expression, but he could read the phone book and I'd laugh. Over 11 seasons, not ONCE did I grow tired of his schtick. Cheers became my favorite show ever, and Wendt was instrumental in that.

I fell in love with every member of that cast instantly, but couldn't get over Norm. Every episode he got the ubiquitous greeting from the bar, a perfectly set-up question from Sam, Coach, Diane or Woody, and he dinged the punchline out of the park. Every. Single. Time. I felt genuine joy seeing him

After college I went through a huge breakup that left me without a will to get out of the house. I was so sad that even my comfort shows were making me sob uncontrollably. I needed something different. I found Cheers. The pilot episode floored me with how good it was. It was perfect.

I take my Klonopin with a double shot of espresso, which is the anxiety equivalent of two cowboys throwing a knife down in a saloon and "seeing who wants it more."

I mean, talk about a Papal Bull, AMIRIGHT FOLKS!?!?

The new Pope was born in Chicago. There's a chance Pontifex has eaten at Lou Malnati's...

New Pope, who dis?

Maybe I should have checked earlier, but Hollywood is BEGGING for a new Dennis Farina type, right?!?

Like, a guy whose whole vibe just SCREAMS Chicago Detective, but inexplicably in LA? The kids LOVE Farina! 🤞🤞

Follow your dreams kids! Today I held a dying mime in my arms while being sexually harassed, and now I'm crying listening to Ben Folds while driving through downtown Chicago to see my wife.

Acting is magic. You can have it all!

I feel so bad for the actresses doing UGC ads for Hims.

Getting paid (generously) $50 to sit alone in your apartment, filming a fake "morning after" vlog about how much better your boyfriend is now that he's on boner pills must make class reunions a real drag.

The Hodge Twins tweeting, "Jordan Peterson has gone full woke. Sad to see." Catturd responding, "Never liked him to begin with." The Hodge Twins responding to Catturd, "He used to make some good points but now he's just controlled opposition."

Lol. Just lol.

It's truly impossible for me to overstate how perfect Andor is. Since I was 6 years old, watching the Leonard Maltin VHS set and playing Shadow of the Empire on N64, this is the Star Wars I always dreamed of.
I might actually cry.