a person is holding a piece of cheese over a plate of food Alt: a person is holding a piece of cheese over a plate of food

Raclette is divinely inspired.

RFK, Jr.: "It's amazing how quickly the flu spreads in crowded classrooms. It's a total mystery. No one knows why."

PETE HEGSETH: "It's a well known fact that the flue *can't* spread in a crowded submarine. Jesus said that. Or did I read it on the bottom of a beer bottle cap? Another mystery, man!"

Cancer Thread™

I have been living with colon cancer since 2018. this thread is where i will put cancer stuff

i currently have ~$10k worth of outstanding bills (5 line items) that im currently being asked to pay and every single item is due to an error on my provider’s part or my insurer’s part. $10K that i have to make a case not to pay because of idiocy. probably normal for most chronic illness havers

Well damn. Now I miss Paris again. You can drink a Bordeaux at room temperature, right?

Eating freshly melted cheese that almost burns the roof of your mouth is like seeing the face of God

More good medical news!

“The work builds on earlier results showing that nine weeks of pre-operative immunotherapy using the drug pembrolizumab led to major tumour shrinkage in patients with stage two or three bowel cancer.”

www.itv.com/news/2026-04...

WHAT DID YOU SAY? I CAN’T HEAR ANYTHING!

Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy: "We're on the cusp of bringing back land-based supersonic flight. So supersonic flight from LA to New York in two and a half hours. Wild."

Screenshot of a tweet by Democrats Deliver (@DemzDeliver) highlighting that Minnesota now has the third lowest poverty rate in the nation, 45% lower than West Virginia. The post includes a split image of Governor Tim Walz smiling outdoors and an aerial view of the Minneapolis skyline along a river.

Blue governing leads the way.

The rose is yellowish orange and red.

A Beverly Hills rose. BH smells fantastic this time of year.

Dr. Lucas Wilson endured "conversion therapy," which is an abusive, anti-science attempt to fix what is not broken. We talked about his journey and the latest Supreme Court ruling. WATCH: sbee.link/r8apwujcm3

Office dog is not in people mood

The move came just hours before the House Ethics Committee was supposed to announce sanctions against Rep. Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick, who allegedly took $5 million in Covid relief funds from FEMA and funneled it into her campaign. trib.al/oCZeeu6

It must be hard to schedule actors' call times for Man of Tomorrow

Karoline Leavitt Gets Brutal Reminder After Claiming Trump 'Follows Through' On His Promises

Where do we even start?

Which of the books revelations do you think people will find most shocking? I had a television show in 2018 called Camping.

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Lena Dunham theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-int...

Got a new iPad recently and noticed that it’s not showing some images in almost have of the posts. Anyone seeing this?

Trump loses in court. Then he sues the critic. Then he loses that one. Then he sues again. A man who won't stop filing lawsuits he cannot win is not fighting. He's flailing.

Become a member. Get the paper. Plus a tote. For $9 per month for print.

Celebrate our historic victory by seizing control of an Onion membership and InfoWars tote at membership.theonion.com/iw/

Screenshot of a tweet by Pop Base (@PopBase) reporting that The Onion has successfully acquired Alex Jones' Infowars after 17 months of legal battles, with plans to turn it into a parody of itself with support from Sandy Hook families. The post includes a photo of a visibly distressed Alex Jones and the new rainbow-colored Infowars logo.

Karma is a betch, Alex Jones.

‘Michael’ Criticized For Depicting Neverland Ranch With Cooler Rides Than It Actually Had

‘Michael’ Criticized For Depicting Neverland Ranch With Cooler Rides Than It Actually Had theonion.com/michael-crit...

I wanna launch the THOUSAND YEAR BODY. Keep my brain alive for a millenium while I tirelessly craft the perfect bioplastic turbo-mech to stride like a cosmic colossus across the stars.

Also, Nina Hartley is an incredibly cool person who tells the BEST stories. If she comes to your town, go see her!

The Supreme Court’s Shadow Docket Secrets Have Been Spilled The leaked memos from a 2016 EPA case expose the spurious reasoning behind one of the justices’ most consequential decisions of the past decade.

The court these days is remarkably willing to let the Trump administration govern the country however it wishes nowadays.

Future generations will lament the Supreme Court’s departure from its own practices, both in practical terms and in democratic ones. trib.al/gP6rbJi

Screenshot of a tweet by Leading Report (@LeadingReport) briefly noting that the BBC is alleging the Trump administration may be engaging in insider trading. No image or video is embedded.

Ya think?

In February 1777, General George Washington ordered the first mass immunization campaign in American history by mandating that his troops be inoculated against smallpox. He protected the Continental Army from an epidemic that was deadlier than British forces.

249 years later, we have this idiot.

I am touched an honored by this; congratulations to all of my category-mates, and to my wife for her own nomination in the Best Series category. While I have happily held her purse at Hugo Awards past, this will be our first joint spousal appearance as nominees. See you in LA, I hope...

I gotta say this is a great skeet to find myself included on!