Every now and then I look at the blocklists my friends are on to see which ones I'd want to join, I wish there was just a "put me on this list button" for several.

Lemme tickle your cum glands.

Last night someone asked for proof of my balls being big, so they gave me a good excuse to take more pics. I used a Gatorade bottle for scale.

The allergy meds are failing, this plant cum is too strong.

It's like the girl from the ring picked up meth.

Thank you morning sneeze, for reminding me to take allergy meds.

When I read the first post I imagined you describing it, because it sounds like something you'd come up with lol

looking like only on windows, shame that it isn't an option on phones.

Every now and then I consider posting feet because everyone I know who has seen my feet and are into them has told me I've got good ones XP guess I probably will eventually.

Intrusive thought to put my hand in the door while my fiance is closing it: successfully fought off.

I love waking up randomly and having sudden overwhelming anxiety. Come on brain, just shut the fuck up and go back to sleep.

only if someone feels like helping :P

I'm always astounded by the fact that no matter how much I drink in a night, I'll still wake up with my dick in diamond mode.

I'm never going to experience an earthquake, slept through another one. So inconsiderate, it couldn't have waited until I was awake?

I don't like learning that I'm apparently equal degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon and Hitler.

Just a heads up, @lancener.bsky.social and I had a discussion tonight, and have come to an agreement. He is no longer my boyfriend.


…because he agreed to my proposal and is now my fiancé!

I just mistook the clover on a bottle of Irish Spring for a radiation hazard symbol.

A pipe burst across the hallway a few days ago, so we've got this industrial dehumidifier in the bathroom. It makes everything hot and dry, this would be fine, but now getting a handful of soap feels like someone cumming in your hand and it's a little off-putting every time I wash my hands.

Quick guide on what to do when someone is into something you don't like:
Is someone being harmed without consenting?
If no: Fuck off. In all cases.
If yes: Offer support to the victims who are willing to speak up. Warn people that the person is a danger.

On the way back from seeing Opeth live for the first time after listening to them for the last 19 years of my life. My boyfriend is the best and I don't have the words.

Last night someone asked for proof of my balls being big, so they gave me a good excuse to take more pics. I used a Gatorade bottle for scale.

It's so hard to read right now, these letters keep changing on me

Just set every language to my preferred languages on youtube so they won't give me any auto-dubbed trash, cannot stand hearing it, would rather it be in another language. I'm so tired of AI, every day makes me hate it more.

Forgot to post these, Chicago from the air is too pretty.

As soon as I’m home I’m microwaving some cheese so it can smell like day 1 of a convention again.

Public restrooms should be equipped with tasers that activate once the threshold for "piss on the seat" is crossed.

I'm beating the shit out of food poisoning, not really though, please keep getting better, last night was the worst :x lol

Business does, in fact, not go with food poisoning.

Why on earth is there a FOOTUSSY at this party 😭

Diarrhea near me