So, my immigration folks may not know this, but there’s this MASSIVE annual fundraiser in which people donate to New American Pathways — a refugee-resettlement org turned immigrant-serving org — for the greater glory of college sports (or, if you prefer, Protect Trans Kids University).

I count 19 visible fans. This show had 32 workers, barring someone with multiple gimmicks I missed, but not counting non-wrestlers.

Dudes rock

Infowars/Onion combo logo in rainbow saying “I support the onion’s hostile media takeover.”

It’s finally happened. After 18 months. Finally, a media merger you can root for.

Roman Reigns’ teeth

https://www.theonion.info/

SPOILER [Wrestlemania Spoilers] Update to commentary team [Wrestlemania Spoilers] Update to commentary team For Jade vs Rhea, Michael Cole and Wade Barrett have been joined by *checks notes* Adam Weitsman, a New York entrepreneur, who has paid to be seated at the commentary table (without a mic) for the duration of the match

Oh so they're BROKE broke

two images of the human body's circulatory system. One of them with good cable management

The human circulatory system, before and after proper cable management.

Running Delaware Marathon and losing 1st place because you celebrate too early

(volume up 💀)

I think they ticketed and arrested Zachariah Branch for smirking at a cop

Yeah you can't get more hardcore than the fans who are mortgaging their homes for tickets and paying $9K for bus rides. 🤼

I do get a kick out of how comically greedy TKO is. My favorite parts are 1.) Even their ticket sale had to have a corporate sponsor. And 2.) Last night, through another sponsor, a few fans won not free tickets, but SEAT UPGRADES from the rafters to the floor.

what are ads but video packages for the brands that love you and your money

Needed some footage of a wrestling convention for a video I’m editing.

Scrolling through it and coincidentally left it on this still.

It’s my new favorite thing.

If it’s family entertainment, why don’t I see families in the crowd?

Blothar The Berserker Of GWAR Explains How Independent Journalism Is The Only Force As Powerful As GWAR. Subscribe to The Onion at membership.theonion.com.

They posted WrestleMania for free on YouTube.

Organic and margin accretive moments

Pat McAfee came out in a ref shirt and did a slow count when Randy went for the cover and then Randy RKOed Pat and lost. Calling that finish Russo-esque might actually be an insult to Russo.

Also, just think what this says about everyone who did get their credentials approved.

God forbid a reporter cover the news.

Andreas Hale gave a bad Wreslepalooza show a “let’s keep you out of the Vietnam War draft”-level soft C, and they banned his ass. The skin of this company is paper thin.

WWE denied ESPN’s Andreas Hale a press credential for WrestleMania - which is airing on ESPN+.

I uh feel like I might have to be more careful with some of my humor on the internet

I really don’t like that WrestleMania week shows have become almost entirely reliant on foreign promotions’ shows to have anything good happen at a noteworthy level.

You could have the roster of WK14 time warped to today and GCW would somehow still have Jimmy Lloyd in the man event.

On multiple occasions in the past year, members of a security detail had difficulty waking Patel because he was seemingly intoxicated, according to information supplied to justice department of White House officials. Our request for “breaching equipment” – normally used by SWAT and hostage rescue teams to quickly gain entry into the buildings – was made last year because Patel had been unreachable behind, locked doors, according to multiple their request

I’ve been drunk but never “call the breaching team” drunk

thank god for this new japan show