10 minutes before trying to leave mom’s house…
“Can you look at these boxes in the closet and tell me what you want to keep or I’ll get rid of it all.”
Every. Single. Time.

Me: compelled to ask a dozen people their opinion on a major life decision

Also me: ugh don’t tell me what to do

I’ve had a taste of retirement and I’m ready for it now.

I forgot about the anxiety that comes with bidding on things on eBay.

Wrapping gifts and watching the most festive thing - Heated Rivalry.

It’s going to snow here in Raleigh today, but I still ordered iced coffee.

It’s so nice to drive by the baseball stadium this time of year. There are so many Christmas lights.

It’s sleeting this morning in North Carolina, but I clinched the fantasy football playoffs.

It’s so entertaining to see the fun, new ways the Saints come up with to let me down each week.

That drink is so pretty!

It’s chilly, the Saints won and I’m proudly wearing a Saints hoodie in uptown Charlotte, and I have peppermint coffee. I will not be deterred by some damn bullshit.

If this shutdown prevents me from getting decent tickets to AC/DC, I’m rioting.

And in that pause between pitch and contact - longer than logic, shorter than hope - we remembered why baseball existed long before we judged a sport's value by viral moments and betting apps. It is the romance of failure. The mortal beauty of trying and missing seven times out of 10 and still being considered great. It is the only sport where patience is a weapon, and panic the surest death. You cannot simply run out the clock in baseball; you must face it, pitch by terrifying pitch, until it finally releases you.

Did not expect one of the best paragraphs I’d read about baseball would come from an Irish newspaper

www.irishexaminer.com/sport-column...

Shout out to the restaurant rewards that accrue without expiring so I can still treat myself while not getting paid.

That was embarrassing. Come on, Spencer.

WHOA

Needed a warm hug. Started Ted Lasso from the beginning.

I am not always right, but I am right enough that people should listen when I speak. It would save us all a lot of trouble in the long run.

Dear Sean Payton,

I miss you. Come back below sea level. You don’t need to be a mile high.

a woman with curly hair is sitting at a desk with her hands on her head and a hulu logo in the corner ALT: a woman with curly hair is sitting at a desk with her hands on her head and a hulu logo in the corner

Saints got me like

Jealous! I’m insulted that these aren’t streaming anywhere.

Do less goofy dogs do better with robot vacuums? Lady is struggling lol

I’ll never forgive “Matlock” for setting off smoke detectors TWICE in one episode. Anyway, now I have a dog that is trembling.

This past week or so has felt very much like 2025 is personally saying “fuck you” to my face. So rude.

“Find me at Whole Foods, bitch.” Hayley Williams is my T. Swift.

Have you tried the Strawberry Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Surprisingly delicious.

I am in this skeet and I hate it 😤

I said the same thing. That post-race interview was brutal.

I have always loved Hayley Williams

I am definitely going to attempt to befriend them. Lady will also have to agree to this plan though 😂