Was looking forward to wearing this ripped tshirt after top surgery :)

Somehow didn't think that taking about 4lbs of tissue off my body would take longer than 2 weeks to feel well enough to go back to work. Whoops.

MONTHS? 😭

I'm 11 days post op and man THIS SUCKS. I'm bored and can't do shit and I have a giant hematoma on my right side that is (partially healing, yet,) won't BREAK DOWN ALREADY

Thank you!!

Sending nip pics with the boys (top surgery results)

I will be using this emoji for everything. Thank you.

🫪

Some personal news

Guy Ordering Nonalcoholic Beer Has Either Seen A Ton Of Shit Or No Shit At All

Guy Ordering Nonalcoholic Beer Has Either Seen A Ton Of Shit Or No Shit At All theonion.com/guy-ordering-nonalcoholi...

Thinking about Vermont

Have had a migraine for 10 days now :)

30 Rock was a documentary

The Republican position now appears to be that you have a constitutional right to openly carry a gun in public, unless you do so while expressing a view that the government dislikes, in which case the secret police can shoot you to death on the spot.

There is no conceivable way to reform this.

While the pasty incels who work the federal agencies continue to churn out feeble, bloodless AI pastiches of Axis propaganda, here’s how a living breathing artist powerfully invokes design history. This is by illustrator Emily K in South Philly, a free poster-sized download on her website: →

$450 later I hopefully have my sanity back

Asked my girlfriend when she knew I lost it tonight and she said she knew yesterday.....

Homeownership is thinking you can do something, fucking it up, thinking you can fix your fuck up, then 4 hours later you have a mental breakdown and call a professional

4 years of going to the barber and saying idk whatever I usually do and now I'm going in with some pictures that my girlfriend requested

If we lose this game at least I have heated rivalry

Gonna start drinking again so I don't care about work so obsessively /s

I feel like someone should've warned me that "addictive personality" would make me prone to being a workaholic....

Flavor of this brings me back to being 16 in Germany

I mean one thing is trump very clearly has hearing loss so heres hoping that the dementia risk for not wearing hearing aids kicks in

Tragically I have discovered that I am a workaholic

Today is yet another good day to stop using Twitter entirely.

(So is every other day.)

LMAOOO