I like how you have a direct line to Number One.

So, does that make you… Number Two? 🤭

Uh huh uh huh uh huh

Good timing! I almost finished a book tonight at work (I work in a bookstore) and was wondering what to read during my next shift. This sounds interesting, so I'll give it a shot.

I dunno, you could say that one or two of my ex-girlfriends practiced light monogamy when we were together. Or as I like to call it, cheating.

Wait until the friends your age start becoming grandparents. That's the one that really fucked with me.

All I know is that it darn near killed 'em

I've always sucked at it, too. I can joke around and try to be charming, but if it's someone I actually like, or I even get an inkling that they like me too, I get all nervous, stumble over my words, and turn beet red. It sucks.

Mooooo

Things are only bad when the other team… I mean, the other political party does it.

Looks like the regeneration special effects from The Caves of Androzani started a few episodes earlier than we realized.

Aw, this is the exact one I had. Sparked a lifelong interest in vampires and eventually led to me writing my own books.

Christian Rock Hard "Christian Rock Hard" is the ninth episode of Season Seven, and the 105th overall episode of South Park. It first aired on October 29, 2003.[1] This episode marks the debut of Sergeant Harrison Yates ...

South Park did a whole episode on this. Their lyrics were… quite salacious, to say the least.
southpark.fandom.com/wiki/Christi...

🤭

It's almost like the guy has a history of… Oh, right.

One of the main reasons I decided to record my audiobooks was a friend of mine who had developed problems with vertigo and couldn't read for long periods of time.

Though after I'd made them, she made excuses about not wanting to listen for that long, either. 🙄

I'm not watching the news any more. It's not because it's scary or depressing or anything like that.
I just find it all so depressingly stupid.

Goddammit.

The Vapors – Turning Japanese Songwriter David Fenton explains: “Turning Japanese is all the clichés about angst and youth and turning into something you didn’t expect to.” The band knew they had a success with

Correct.
genius.com/The-vapors-t...

That's really good.

I had to read this two or three times before I got it. And now I hate you. (Not really.) 🤭

I forgot the part of the story where Steven's shoulders suddenly become enormous.

Well that's just bollocks.

I should track down my old high school friend who changed the words in Patrick Swayze's "She's like the wind" to "She's breaking wind" and see if I can set you two up on a date.

Maybe next they'll push for putting lead back into gasoline and paint. You know, for freedom.

I'm sorry, but if you're an adult who can't even use the correct you're/your or the proper it's/its, I have no intention of listening to what you have to say. Oh, wait, no, I'm not sorry at all 💜

I wonder if he sighs dramatically when you make a wrong turn.

Was that a pun? 🍑😆

I get entire music videos in my head when certain songs come up on my playlist.

These assholes think that saying something makes it true.