The worst part of Jedi-hunting is the endless preachy monologues.

It. Happens. Every. Single. Time.

It’d be less of a hassle.

But you should.

Don’t call me that.
Most of these idiots don’t know.

UNTIL I KILL YOU.

I feel like with Vader, I just can’t capture his proper voice when I’m doing banter.

Some characters you can stay perfectly IC while doing all sorts of banter. But I find trying to be bantery while fully in Vader’s voice just doesn’t really work.

So you’ve just gotta commit to the joke.

#Queekisms

for the record I am capable of writing vader seriously.

IT IS THE ONLY THING I HAVE IN LIFE.

I don’t know.
I don’t ask questions.
I just kill people.

You can’t blame me for this.

Before you say anything: I need to remind you that I do not make imperial policy.

* mourning

“Some people mourn in solitude. Others build shrines or light a candle. Never have I heard of morning through pin-ups.”

So. You want pin-ups of attractive, muscular, usually naked people for what? Artistic appreciation?

You people are degenerates.

Yes. I killed the people you ogle at.

We should also discuss why there’s so much of it but that’s a conversation for a different day.

No. I have better things to do with my life than find pictures of dead people without their shirts on.

No but seriously, Palpatine, why did so much Jedi porn slip through the censors?

It’s weird.

I do /not/ want to know.

Oh no the sassy imperial admiral trying to politically undermine him just died.

what a shame.

Somehow, they slipped through the Empire’s suppression of all things Jedi.

It is odd.

I don’t know what is weirder.

Being a Jedi and seeing half-naked pin-ups of my closet friends and colleagues all over the place or being the Sith who killed said friends and colleagues, still seeing their half-naked pin-ups all over the place.

Our entire government is built upon the premise of the lower ranks being weaker or dumber than those in power.

So we can crush you if needs be.

In short: That Stormtrooper is lying.
He, like all troopers, is a terrible shot.

#Queekisms

Eh. Not happy with those replies, but I promised I’d crank them out today.

- over her damaged armor.

He hooked his thumbs around the front of his belt. Quietly pondering her claims to himself.

“Enforcer of the Emperor’s will.”

He’d hardly ever felt the need to explain his ‘job’ to others, but today was already a strange one.

“What happened to you?”

He nodded slightly. Helmeted eyes glossing -

He was a little surprised at the question. Not many outside of the Empire’s inner circle even knew of his existence, sure, but once they gazed upon the Emperor’s whispered about Jedi-killer, they could guess whom or what he worked for.

Did she not know of the Empire?

“I am Darth Vader.”