That squares my breasts!

I remember the exact class I was in (drafting, 8th grade) when I read this scene. I remember what the room looked and smelled like. I could tell you nothing about the rest of that day, week or month, but that moment, oh yes.

Biblically accurate Nixon

“Well, Grant, we’ve had the devil’s own day.”

“Yes. Lick ‘em tomorrow, though.”

~Exchange between Generals William T. Sherman & Ulysses S. Grant on evening of 4/6/1862 (164 years ago tonight) after battle of Shiloh’s first day. The Union won the battle the next day.

Images: Library of Congress.

fun reminder:

the reason why they make these fucking pointless "live action" remakes is because since it's "live action", the animation is considered "vfx" and not character animation, so they can pay these non-unionized satellite studios fuck-all and make a cool few million for essentially nothing

...

Years ago, I described my issue with newspaper comics as, "Imagine if you pitched a show to a TV exec & they said, 'No, no. We've been running Howdy Doody for 70 years. People love Howdy Doody. We don't need new stuff.' Wouldn't that be awful?"

These ppl wanna run Howdy Doody for 70 years.

I've run across this story before (& had to send it to several people immediately) and it makes my heart happy. My old boy is Beef Wellington and I have to go find and snuggle him now.

(banging clipboard) Waf-fles Waf-fles Waf-fles

DROPSY

CATARRH taken

I've got two words for you, just two words

air breams

Having gotten bored with playing God we are now playing the other guy

It's really fun to find out how many shivs it takes to solve a given problem

One day my kids are gonna come across someone doing an explainer on that stuff and they're gonna realize what their parents have been referencing their entire lives

[Filthy Tom Waits voice] 🎵 I'm your Scrub Daddy
put your knife in my mouth
yeah I'm your Scrub Daddy
put your knife in my mouth 🎵

Coupla big head buds crushin schooners of blacklight lookin margs

This is a dazzle camo demonstration

Over on threads someone just use ai;dr and we all need to adopt that right quick

Cowti boyme

When do you reckon it achieves sentience

"Can you make it rain more?" 👑

You can test new tech ideas using the Seinfeld Test

Would the product eliminate the plot of an episode? (Google maps, cell phones, paypal, battery packs)

Good tech.

Would the product inspire new Seinfeld plots? (NFTs, AI chatbots, crypto currency, blindboxes, metaverse land sales)

Bad tech.

Archeologists have rejected the evidence of a “unitary” Bill Kristol, as recent scholarship has determined this sobriquet to refer to two distinct individuals active at about the same time with diametrically opposed politics

here come old laptop
he come
bootin up slowly
he got
broken touchpad
he need
one more update
he got
no space
on this pc

one thing i can tell you
its got no warranty

A weird feature of this one is it's also based on a mispronunciation - Gerry is pronounced with a g-as-in-golf, but his 'mander is with a g-as-in-gelatin.

Here are the child vaccine recommendations as of November 2024. Keep them with you, advocate for your kids, get the vaccines they need to stay healthy and promote immunity for the whole community. #Health #CDC #vax

Primary reason he always, always, always alwaysalways loses

Both before and since becoming a parent I have had this panel come unbidden to mind on a more or less monthly basis

The confluence of 1) abhorrent ideas about relationships 2) the unearned confidence in your dogshit writing of a sophomore creative writing major. I recognize this approach to turning a phrase from classes where critique was a daily battle not to lead off with "why'd you make us read this"