Told my wife to have dinner ready at 6 or I'll obliterate her entire civilization. So anyway, she now charges me a fee to use the bathroom that used to be free, and I didn't get any dinner, but I'm pretty sure I won that exchange.
I lol'd at this.😆
Keith Law slipped a 69 / nice joke into his Draft rankings for the Athletic
@keithlaw.bsky.social Beautiful.
RIP to Dan. His "A decade of Philly sports fans on the TV news" video from the other site is pure gold.
January 29, 2026 at 1:31 AM Dan McQuade passed away on his birthday which is exactly the kind of fact that I would learn about someone else from Dan McQuade. Because Dan may have known more things than anyone I've ever met. His love for Philadelphia was one of his most famous traits but I used to plumb the depths of it. Years ago, before he met his wife Jan, I would take the bus down to visit him and we would just walk. For a long time. And every so often I'd say "Tell me something that happened on this block" and he'd say "This one? I don't think anything happened here." Then after about 8 seconds he'd exclaim "Oh wait!" with his index finger in the air like a little kid and tell me one of the craziest fucking things I'd ever heard.
Some thoughts on one of the best friends I ever had.
Newly Unsealed Batch Of Epstein Estate Photos Contains Rare Holographic Dershowitz
Newly Unsealed Batch Of Epstein Estate Photos Contains Rare Holographic Dershowitz
Heroes come in many forms and this is one of them
I’m sorry but what did libertarians think that the anonymous money laundering racism coin that you could only functionally use for illicit activity was doing other than this, exactly
King of England on a checkerboard pattern tile floor
Y’all might not appreciate it, but it took him 87 moves and 14 hours to get here
Will Arnett was on Conan and told a story about how Conan dealt with the death of his parents by accusing Jason Bateman of killing them. It’s so funny.
First Secretary of Defense you could defeat by painting a tunnel on the side of a boulder.
TRUMP: and this Daniel, he went into the den?
MAMDANI: The lion's den, yes
TRUMP: surely they ate him
MAMDANI: Here's the part where it gets a little Broadway: they didn't
TRUMP: Unbelievable
Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’
Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’
When I say I don't want to have kids but I still want to be involved in their lives, this is what I mean
It’s been so long since the Blue Jays won the World Series that the last time it happened the President was born in 1946 and had ties to Jeffrey Epstein.
JD Vance Booed By Own Reflection In Mirror
JD Vance Booed By Own Reflection In Mirror theonion.com/jd-vance-booed-by-own-re...
what a humiliating way for don jr. to find out his dad sends birthday cards.
JD Vance Booed By Own Reflection In Mirror Image Calls VP ‘Loser’ Right To His Face
JD Vance Booed By Own Reflection In Mirror theonion.com/jd-vanc...
Stephen Miller Tears Up As Son Says First 14 Words
Stephen Miller Tears Up As Son Says First 14 Words
I (lawyer in my 40's) read it religiously. Patrick Redford has emerged as my favorite, currently sending in daily dispatches from the Tour de France. I like David Roth a lot too. They'll give you a few free articles before throwing up a paywall. Plenty of non "bro" stuff on there.
me: what kind of animal is that
tour guide: alaskan otter
me: ok, let me know what he says
Changing the stickers I put on Teslas from “Elon Musk is a Nazi” to “This is the car Chris Cillizza drives”
Stephen Miller Enraged After Discovering Cantaloupe He’s Fucking From Mexico
FEMA Chief Confused By Wind ‘How Come I Feel Something But Don’t See It?’ Asks Department Head
FEMA Chief Confused By Wind
theonion.com/fema-ch...
if the wheels had come off this thing any faster it'd be a Cybertruck
That’s the Chicago way. He brings leavened bread, you bring unleavened bread. He brings justification through faith alone, you bring justification through faith and works.
the New Pope says he's from Chicago but he's *actually* from Naperville
also you all need to see this, because this is something I don't think *anybody* could predict for where this ad goes
