If you are not the oldest sibling, you're DLC.

Special thanks to all the massive cunts out there providing so many loud examples how not to be.

That elephant has a real "Lotso Huggin Bear" vibe.

Here's one to look out for when it comes to #scam links in emails/text;

Ideally don't click any links you get from unsolicited contact.

Just carefully check the spelling of the @domain they're trying to send you to.

rnicrosoft is easy to miss if you're being told your account is in danger.

Thou shalt not think any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a paedophile.

Some people are just nice.

Here's a proper Joke joke I wrote.

"What's the biggest animal that doesn't matter?

An Irrelephant."

a cartoon of a woman holding a brush with the words unionise all the workers written on it . Alt: a cartoon of a woman holding a brush with the words unionise all the workers written on it .

Wrestlers Should Unionise

Actually, scratch that.

Everyone should Unionise.

What's your job? You should join the Union for it.

Here's one to look out for when it comes to #scam links in emails/text;

Ideally don't click any links you get from unsolicited contact.

Just carefully check the spelling of the @domain they're trying to send you to.

rnicrosoft is easy to miss if you're being told your account is in danger.

A good check is to say you're busy and want to ring them back later.

An actual bank will let you.
Scammers won't.

Either way, ring back on a trusted number from some paperwork you have, because scammers also pay Google so their blag "contacts" page goes to the top of the results.

Everyone should do this.

There's a few banks now you can go in their app and it'll tell you if you're currently talking to the bank or not.

In lieu of that, hang up and ring back always. Nothing is ever so urgent it can't wait while you call back.

A muffin

The same muffin but from a different angle

The same muffin a final time but this time held by the perpetually ice cold hands of an old man

Knocked up some of them Two Ingredient Ice Cream Muffins you see bandied about.

Pretty good. Piss easy, took half an hour all told.

I went with Vanilla and it's not hugely flavourful, but they've turned into pretty good all purpose muffins for my daughter's obligatory "post nursery" car snack. 🥧🧁

I just pretended to do a poo on my daughter's head, and she looked at me, pulled her ear down and said "flush".

Ursula Andress has JUST turned up way over halfway through the movie.

Bond is meant to be hiding on the island of Dr No, but Ursula comes up the beach in a bikini so he immediately gives up his position by singing a song about fruit.

If you manage to do all that, they fail you because you can't possibly have ADHD and complete this process.

Oh yeah I'd sit down and do that thing all in one go or not at all ever.

Ok well, I might have to do this questionnaire.

Unless I forget.

He's driven a hearse off the road, which exploded, and now he's up at her gaff, fully aware it's a trap, but there's booty on the line so he's going for it anyway.

Kiss to fade out.

Now it's dark, and he's having a cigarette. Now she's touching his chest, and my stomach is sick...

Wait is that an ADHD thing because....

There's a long sequence of a woman sexily giving Bond directions to her place so they can smoosh butt, played over him driving up there looking smug as a dairy farmer's cat.

It's a full minute of the film.

She has that RP voice no-one has anymore, where they pronounce the H in Where.

Bond is a massive poon hound.

I mean, obviously, but they've got every woman leering at him like he's made of Very.com gift cards, and he is SOAKING it up.

The baddies try to off Bond by putting a massive spider in his room, and the spider is on board because instead of fucking off into the corner of the shower, it hangs out in Bonds bed waiting for him to get comfy for the night.

Then he smashes it with a shoe.

DUH NUH NURR NURR!

MINT

The Waffly Sleepover graphic but with a photo of Veda Scott, and also their name in huge letters

new Waffly Bollox sleepover episode at midnight!!!!!!

with huge thanks to our guest @vedascott.bsky.social for being brilliant 💖

The Grand National is just a sausage machine with extra steps and posher hats.

Also the horses have masks and cool names, but not entrance music and all their finishes are the same.

a man in a suit and tie is asking " why so certain " Alt: a man in a suit and tie is asking " why so certain "

Now that I'm a father in my 40s, I have of course developed an interest in the Bond movies.

I've seen the ones from Goldeneye up, so I'm starting from the start.

Dr No.

It's insanely 60s, and there's no score on it at all. Just a load of ambient noise. It's unsettlingly quiet.

Still join us.

You stop running and suddenly your earphones are WAY too loud. What am I, Marley Matlin?

Bender says "if it's any consolation, my life is great."

Yes we're teetering on the shit end of World War 3, but I just cracked a Terry's chocolate orange and pulled the full core out clean.

Even some of Hitler's guys had a pop at him.

Wasp in my kitchen.

Fuck you summer