Apparently there are ppl that only read dialogue in books?? At that point just read a screenplay because what are you doing? 🤨

My neighbor has 3 kids running and screaming around her place; they literally shake the building but I’M the one that has to pay a pet fee for my 10 pound dog? Yeah okay..

WHY DOES EVERY STORE HAVE A CREDIT CARD NOW? What’s next? Planned parenthood with 5% cash back for every screening?

Yes!! Seeing him the trailer for Dune 3 is what spurred this post 🤭

It’s so unfortunate how ppl discount movies that Robert Pattinson is in because of his Twilight role but the dude has range. He really doesn’t get enough credit as an actor

Realizing you have to take a dump after showering is a universal experience that’s equivalent to forgetting to shave your mustache after finishing your makeup

I’ve been in the gym space for so long that I genuinely forget most women do not want muscular quads, boulder shoulders, and big biceps and triceps

Literally every time I see a pigeon I tell my partner “I hate how we domesticated pigeons only to abandon them”

I heard someone say Subway is better than Banh mi…hello??

Photo of Amy doing rear delt flies but you can see a little bit of back muscles poking through. Heheh

Baby got [some] back

I cut my hair short and got a fringe and I have never felt so ugly 😭 I cannot wait for my hair to grow out

“But SEED OILS!” Dude you drink literal poison on the weekends yet seed oils you have an issue with?

I’ve been sober for nearly a year from weed because it started to make me anxious (when I literally got high to reduce my anxiety…) and man, I miss it sometimes

Bailey at 10 months old

Bailey at 6 years old

Crying because my partner and I adopted Bailey when she was 10 months old and she’ll be 7 years old in June 😭

I love browsing for new bikinis but I don’t ever go to the pool or beach because one I can’t swim and two I hate sand

I love having my own place because what do you mean I can walk into my kitchen naked and peacefully eat Grillo’s pickles?

I lost 10 pounds and it resulted in me losing 2 inches off my glutes 😔 Please give me some space while I mourn my fat ass

I’m convinced ppl who say Taco Bell gives them the shits just don’t eat enough fiber

My partner has three co workers named John so the store addresses them by size. Whenever he says “lil John” I always shout “WHAT! ….OKAY!”

My in-law told me “I didn’t know who Bad Bunny was until the Super Bowl but I heard Trump hates him so that’s reason for me to like Bad Bunny.”

a woman is sitting on a couch and says ariel winter Alt: Gloria from Modern Family saying “I am turning into a white woman”

Having chicken noodle soup instead of congee while I’m sick

I read and finished A Little Life five years ago and I still think about how much I hated it. Every time I thought “Jude’s life couldn’t get any worse,” it got worse

After watching Physical Asia and Final Draft, Yoshio Itoi 100% earned his title as superhuman. His athleticism for being retired and his age is unreal. I want a bite outta him

The chances of you shitting yourself increases as you age, right? Asking for myself

I finally bench pressed 135! 💪🤪

Can someone explain the reasoning behind men ALWAYS choosing the cable that is directly behind me when all of the others are open??

I’m curious, why do ppl who try to get back into reading books always start with non-fiction???

Another night of “what did I eat that’s giving me diarrhea?” 🫩

Bailey under the blanket

Bailey out of the blanket, staring at me

Was doing some work and heard shuffling going on behind me and saw that Bailey tucked herself in. She popped out to stare at me when I laughed a little too hard

Don’t come for my head but Katabasis by RF Kuang was a letdown. Such an interesting plot but the execution was not it. I did not think Hell could be so damn boring