Mickey van de Ven’s outrageous airborne clearance off the line. Well, above the line. He’s really high up

Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven to clear one off the line

I feel very very lucky

My big stupid happy bald face. We’ve won the Europa League

The view inside San Mamés stadium. A sea of Tottenham flags

Ben Davies and Archie Gray lift the Europa League. It’s blurry, I was jumping around

Glenn Hoddle and Gareth Bale sitting in the TNT Sports above us. I like to think they were watching over us

What a time to be alive

Hundreds of Tottenham fans in Bilbao. 17th and I don’t know how, we’re going to Bilbao

17th for the 17 years since that league cup. It is written. We deserve this. You deserve this. Up the Spurs, let’s go

Thinking of heading straight to the Guggenheim to burst into tears so people think I’m an artist rather than a Tottenham fan without any sense of perspective

I was told they brought back dire Wolves

They’re called turfies

What an excellent weekend of association football.

Lads, it’s Tottenham Hotspur

AZ Alkmaar. I was thinking “ooh haven’t we played them in the last few years? Maybe the conference league?” It was four months ago. I was there. This new format has rotted my brain

Never mind eh. There’s always next year. There’s always rewatching the Ajax game on youtube

Blown our chance at immortality. Delighted

L, W, L, W

This is good Actually. Everyone will remember the immortal 2024/25 Tottenham Hotspur team who won three cups and were also relegated

Two pints of Elfsborg please barkeep

Let’s get those brave boys some help

Switch it straight off in case they somehow score again

Could this be the mythical one regular day of Tottenham Hotspur

Hoffenheim are absolute muck 15th in the Bundesliga. We should win comfortably as absolute muck 15th in the Premier League

I really like Ange, it’s not all his fault, but ultimately you are at risk of getting sacked as a football manager if you lose every single football match

Two pints of Bristol Street Motornation please barkeep

Got them right where we want them

Time to start getting in their heads. Tell that bloke that Zara’s autumn-winter collection was an embarrassment this year

Lucas Bergvall. Carabao in his veins

Don’t let your football club ruin Christmas with this one simple trick (I forgot the game was on)

Two pints of carabao beer please barkeep. And one for yourself

We can’t be hitting a record scoreline in this kit. People rewatching this for decades wondering why we’re wearing curtains

It’s big Fraser Forster, the best in the world

ballon d’orster

I like it, he buys into the philosophy

Our starting back four 👊