A VCR never sold my private info to a nazi

DON’T BUY STUFF FROM ULINE. If you make things to sell and ship to people, get your packaging from a company that doesn’t have a terrible owner.

Just got a new ULINE catalog at work, so I when I’m done browsing for inventory labels, fire extinguishers and respirators, I can read the company owner’s thoughts on how the US’s lower birth rates and immigration policy are affecting her ability to hire people.

Mother and child capybara, or as we call them now, crappybarbaras. Thank you, Ze Frank.

Here we see a vet holding a malfunctioning turtle, while her assistant looks in the troubleshooting guide of the manual that came with it, as they discuss whether or not it’s still under warranty.

Went to the zoo today… here’s a picture of a giraffe that’s sad my doesn’t have any more leaves to feed her, while my wife plays the world’s smallest violin.

You know what would also help her afford her husband's cancer treatments? UNIVERSAL FUCKING HEALTH CARE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST HOW IS THIS GODDAMN COUNTRY STILL LIKE THIS MAYBE GRANDMA SHOULDN"T HAVE TO DELIVER FOOD LIKE A TEENAGER IF WE HAD A DECENT FUCKING SOCIETY!!!!!!!!!!

Me, earlier: “Ugh, I guess we need to build Rye’s Pinewood Derby car for next weekend’s race.”

Me, after watching a Mark Rober video on building Pinewood Derby cars: “Fuck yeah! We’re building your Pinewood Derby car for next weekend’s race!! Get my drill, saw and hammer and meet me at the vise!”

He reeled me in with the railroad crossing bell, made me stay with the info on fire alarm bells (a childhood fixation of mine) and made me applaud with the thoughts on accessibility, elevators and modern phone settings. If you’re not a regular viewer of Alex’s videos, what are you even doing?

I’m making a banana pudding pie today. I even bought a propane torch so I could toast the meringue I’m planning to top it with. Also mentally planning the chicken wings I’m making for dinner later tonight at my son’s request. It’d be nice to cook without existential dread, but here we are.

Text box… my mom: Abby is a Calculating Cat. She was on my lap, she heard Russ coming out of the bathroom after his shower, and got off my lap and moved over to his seat on the couch. Me: What an asshole.

Sure, things are awful right now, but I do appreciate living in a time where I’m able to have deep, meaningful conversations with loved ones who live thousands of miles away.

Storefront for a restaurant in Elk Grove, California called “Pizza Bell”

I’m at the… oh, fuck it… never mind.

I remember driving around new neighborhoods in ‘09-‘10 and seeing entire developments just abandoned mid-construction. I think what’s coming is going to be so much worse, so maybe the new ballpark in Las Vegas will fall apart and keep the A’s stuck in Sacramento. Gotta look for those silver linings.

TIL my 7-year-old son likes him some Mötley Crüe.

I’ve been curious for a while now: what’s the deal with people giving their unsolicited hot takes from inside a car? I mean, sitting in a car doesn’t make me any more or less likely to be influenced by what’s being said; I just find it a weird setting to spout off, and it’s so ubiquitous now...

My 7 year old son just now, trying out April Fool’s goofs for tomorrow: “How about this? ‘Dad, mom said she doesn’t love you… April Fool’s!’”

❤️ I didn’t think it was possible to love him any more than I already did. ❤️

A year or so ago our precious little angel described something he was eating as “fucking amazing.” Angie and I told him to please don’t use that word at school or around grandma, while we were stifling laughter. If you dropped an F bomb around him, it wouldn’t be anything he hasn’t already heard.

Whaaaaaa??

Fortunately, the first story in this series that we read together, “Danny, the Champion of the World” hasn’t been made into a movie yet, so I still have the visuals of the story that’ve been in my head since I first read that story as a kid, and my son has his.

We read “Fantastic Mr Fox” last month. Then we watched the movie. It was a very good movie, but Wes Anderson definitely took some liberties with the story. But, same thing: now when I think of the story, it has Anderson’s distinctive look and Mr Fox has George Clooney’s voice.

I’ve been reading “The BFG” by Roald Dahl to my son. We’re almost done, and I’ve been thinking about showing him the movie when we finish. Now I’m rethinking that. He has a visual world he created in his mind from our reading; if I show him the movie, Spielberg’s BFG is going to replace his.

Old Observer in March 2026, staring wide-eyed and close up, observing me. A black lab chills on a love seat in the background.

Young Observer at the 2017 Celtic Faire, wearing green dragon wings and a green Guide Dog Puppy vest

The Observer is a retired guide dog that we raised as a puppy. His person made the tough decision to retire him and get a new dog, and since he can’t take care of two dogs, the old retiree is coming back to us to enjoy his golden* years.

*Get it?

An old golden retriever stands silently halfway around a corner, quietly watching me put on a pair of shoes

We have a new friend staying with us for a while. I’m going to start calling him The Observer.

I think, in my entire life of buying paper napkins for home, more of them have been sacrificed at the altar of bored dogs than have actually been used on anyone’s face or hands.

You know food standard laws? Like Stilton cheese can only come from Stilton, UK? Can we do that in the US, but make so a bag of potato chips can only be called “Party Size” if it’s net weight is over 16 oz?

Over the last couple days, I’ve noticed the recommended content on Facebook has made a sharp pivot to the right… anyone else seeing this or is it just me?

On it.

I’m sure the price of diesel going up won’t make everything even more expensive soon…

Six fucking sixty five and 9/10 a gallon to put diesel in my truck… I’d better start start seeing some “I did that” stickers with Orange Vomitbag’s face on them on the pumps…

True fact: I still have not seen the movie, despite actually being a paid background actor in it.