Sleep tracking watch as criminal alibi

i'm happy to see the onion take over infowars. i've been a big fan of the onion for quite a long time and it's given me plenty of laughs over the years. and as for infowars, i really disliked alex jones and disagreed with him on a whole lot of things. so to me, this whole situation is a win-win

Join The Onion Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.

For fuck's sake, sign up for The Onion, and get a free limited edition IW tote.

A share of merch sales will go to the Sandy Hook families, which will be the first time they get any money since they filed this lawsuit eight years ago.

Legal fees have been insane. Please sign up and help us out!

VERY COOL PERSON: It's four-twenty, you know what that means?

ME: Hell yeah! [starts shoving blackbirds into a pie]

The solar panel keeps the flag up

Absolutely incredible.

NASA Astronaut Reid Wiseman, who commanded Artemis II, took this footage from the far side of the Moon with his iPhone.

Watch with sound on.

Your food

@mytruthsocials.bsky.social

@standalone.bsky.social please tell your brother he needs to get that out

@joelsoda.bsky.social

Fuzz Moo

I think Joel already left

@joeltemperlane.bsky.social please pick up Stan's dead carcass and drive it over the Julien Dubuque Bridge

Dead George Foreman is from Iowa

Dead George Foreman is from Iowa

George Foreman Laid To Rest In Iowa Despite Only Visiting Once During His Life The boxing legend, who passed away in March 2025, was buried in Sioux City, Iowa, because he liked the sense of peace he experienced there during a 1988 visit.

George Foreman Laid To Rest In Iowa Despite Only Visiting Once During His Life | HuffPost share.google/bw73Jn3cObFN...

Yeah I think it probably will. I just want to see people try to justify it.

I kind of hope he does it

just heard someone refer to a regular bicycle as an “acoustic bike”

time to post the best glenn greenwald tweet of all time

I think the cream soda makes it dirty. I think if you ask any bartender for a dirty sugar free Mountain Dew, they're going to put cream soda in it.

This isn't a food waste thread

You're just trying to get on the I was blocked for this account

Why wouldn't I have?

Did you hear the part at the end where I said it was delicious?

@sigdiamond.bsky.social @joeltemperlane.bsky.social @standalone.bsky.social @servoacademy.bsky.social

I will taste test it on video