I'm also the main breadwinner so any loss on my end is extra hard for the both of us

I'm on a tightrope right now with Davida's tuition. She's got one more year of school -- and I've heard that when my peers have moved off of the system, they've lost subscribers, and because of our razor's edge I can't quite move yet. I think about it constantly. (I know, sounds hollow.)

RIP me, as i type this from my couch

Spooning soup into flaky pastry Pop-Tarts are pushing the envelope with a new flavor, but we can do better. How's about we pair a buttery and flakey, addictive crust with just a touch of warm soup?

Last week on the first of April, Pop-Tarts announced an upcoming Cheddar Bay biscuit flavored Pop-Tart. They said, "coming soon," but I couldn't wait and I created my own version. And then I stuffed it with clam chowder. Click through to read about my savory homemade Pop-Tart adventure!

Vegan ortolan none of the pain, all of the shame

Probably the best line I read today: "Since vegan poultry replacement has not advanced to the point of recreating a whole endangered songbird just yet, I was forced to use these soy-based frozen plant chicken nuggets." Thanks, @fartsandwich.bsky.social

Vegan ortolan none of the pain, all of the shame

What better way is there to celebrate Easter weekend than by hiding your shame from God? But in a vegan way, of course.

foodisstupid.substack.com/p/vegan-orto...

That's weird because I want you to keep talking about it

Yeah. It's because Sackramento

Introducing McDonald's new Ballsack sandwich

holy lord michele i'm sorry that is so much

If I was eating I would probably be dead on the floor after choking right now

There's probably a microphone in his ass

How does RoboCop hear through his helmet

🤣❤️

Beefed corn 'tis the season

Someday someone is going to write a hilarious piece on relationships and corned beef. It's very important that you read it. @fartsandwich.bsky.social

open.substack.com/pub/foodisst...

Yes!!! I'm...at Costco now 🤣

Watch out, Chicago, I just saw a Cybercab prototype on the street (there was a driver in it)

I have declared a 15% global tariff on my own ass

I'm 44 and I STILL assume anyone who's taller than me is older than me for some reason

House-smoked tuna Chicken of the Flame

Can the world give @fartsandwich.bsky.social and his loved ones a break?

The halftime show was out neighborhood during summer and I think I'm going to cry

🤣

Fart Sandwich Artist with Dennis Lee Podcast Episode · This Is TASTE · 06/26/2024 · 1h

Super late to listening to this @fartsandwich.bsky.social podcast, but I love that we have similar origin stories as writers: by trolling comment sections, babyyyyyyy!!! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t...

My wife said the funniest thing just now about this. "You know how when some people get really stressed out, they rearrange their house? Maybe that's what he's doing."

Aw man Greg....I'm so sorry. 😢

They're not the Backstreet BOYS they're the Backstreet MEN

lol sometimes stuff gets put up for grabs so of course i took it!!!

hello friend

anyway, epstein files

Got another Mochi, this one in our family! Sister's doggie. Our cats, however, are Scorpion and Sub-Zero and they're a pair of shitheads