I went out for dinner without Tilly last night. very deliberately tried to avoid talking babies. It was really good for my mental health to have that break I think

i should do that too.. missed the first 5 months lol but better late than never i guess? i’m already finding im forgetting things

yeah i think even just the pure pear had that effect lol there was a emergency nappy change shortly after lol

yeah! i made a batch to freeze mostly so that i have it if she gets a bit constioated cos i heard it was good. will try adding some prunes in future. gonna try avocado tomorrow

she was loving herself sick

I think pears were a hit

I got the sense that they’d take me whenever i felt like it lol

I should think about financially though I guess as I’ll be on unpaid leave from June and my mortgage comes off a 2% fixed rate at the same time and Trumo
is destroying the world sigh

In my catch up with work yesterday they asked if I wanted to come
back a. bit earlier, even for two days. i think they’re swamped. my gut reaction is no way, downloads of reasons. Not least I’m not ready to have Tilly in childcare or to give up this time with her.

haha so good

Now it’s cold i’ve been putting Tilly’s sleep suit on the heater so it’s cozy to put on and it makes me smile every time as I suddenly vividly remember my parents doing that for us

if it ends up being that i will laugh myself sick

hahahahahahaha 😝

there was meant to be a picture

Why would Masterchef buy into the Megan Markle nonsense. totally jumped the shark

I’m enjoying today’s outfit

that’s the most dystopian thing i’ve read this week

not till october. i’d love to not go back lol

She finally dropped off and we all went back to bed. i’m shattered. and have a check in with work about return to work in half an hour, god.

Matilda has been awake what feels like all night and is now plaintively crying and sucking her thumb. Not really apparent what’s wrong. send coffee.

don’t worry i called them and paid over the phone! but good grief

Met a friend for coffee today and another for lunch and Matilda charmed them so much, convincing them she is angel placid baby 😝. she was turning on the smiles. Chatted so much at lunch that I got home and texted my friend to say “uh did we pay?”. We did not

also as a soon to be working mum i find it kind of annoying that things like playgroup only offer dad sessions on weekends. why can’t working mums access that? gah i could go on all day lol

also we had dads in our new parents group. they can attend like anyone can!

my mothers group had TWO visits from something called Dad Fit which is an exercise and companionship thing for dads. i think it’s a good initiative but them coming to the mums group so the mums would cajole their partners into it annoyed me

my experience is that MCHN is borderline like a screening service to make sure you don’t have PND and aren’t neglecting the baby. most ppl i know don’t find it very supportive of them. most other services are health related. i’ve paid for the support i have for me eg doula, psychologist

also women often do it at cost to their careers or whatever. like they’re getting flexible workplaces by taking lower paid jobs or being taken less seriously. that’s open to them…

I must have missed the A-Z of practical guidance that women get lol

i love breaks like that. if honestly makes me so happy

ah in the current circumstances this seems sub optimal?