Also I'm not dead. Although I could be an AI agent. Although if I was I wouldn't mention that. Although that could be a clever AI agent double bluff. Although I'm bored now.

Apparently I'm meant to say stuff here. Stuff.

Meet Patsy and Edina. They used to live in a shed cos people are cunts. They came to live with us today.

I need a wee.

Fuck. I thought it was a low level sink.

I am in a room. It has a bathroom.

a man and a woman are standing next to each other with ooh matron written on the bottom ALT: a man and a woman are standing next to each other with ooh matron written on the bottom

They needed a proper sorting out

Knob gag

I've got my bits out.

Wonderboy should do it 👍

You missed out fantastically amazing from the alt text

Now the door makes sense. Couldn't work it out before.

Doesn't make sense. If the glasses are providing you with the answers you are not doing the thinking. I think his glasses told him to say that.

I find colours triggering. The red background to Sainsbury's logo for instance gives me the ick.

One of the main reasons I'm on this platform is due to the previous one being taken over by a prick. If you also think he's a prick then bin it off. You are not entitled to moan about it if you support the prick but continuing to use his platform.

I love the Arse. Obvs would love to win the title this year but such a joy to see them playing such gorgeous football.

Make a band singular.

Kool

Toast. One Marmite. One raspberry jam. Braaaan bread.

a close up of a man 's face with his mouth open and the words `` khaaaan '' behind him . ALT: a close up of a man 's face with his mouth open and the words `` khaaaan '' behind him .

It's obvious who did it.

I may die of farting.

Ah that's a bummer. Hope you get sorted with Sky.

Have you got Lightspeed in your area? Highly recommend.

Intravenous beerhole? (Hope all goes well 👍)

Quote post with your own very dramatic (or otherwise) black and white selfie.

Hopefully Fat Larry made a full recovery.

Worth it 👍

Has your morning broken? You could be eligible for a new one. Call this number now: 7

Gammon boiled with cloves, bay and peppercorns then roasted with a maple syrup and wholegrain mustard glaze. Red cabbage braised in olive oil. Swede smashed to fuck. More fucking cabbage and some leftover mashup taytos. Oh and gravy made from the stock.

I have made edibles

Thought so ....

I have never considered beetroot and cheese in a sandwich. I'm concerned that if I try it and it's good that I have wasted my entire life.

Very slowly please so I can maximise the gob full.