oh my god I can’t believe this, I drew this earlier today???

new way to annoy my kid unlocked: making dolphin noises

Panel 1: At the top it says "Beginning of year:" A man with messy dark brown hair and a green t-shirt is standing next to Shen, saying "This year, I'm gonna become rich!" Shen is saying "I'm gonna become goth!" Panel 2: The man points at Shen and laughs manically, saying "HAHAHAHA!! What a dumb resolution!" Shen just looks back at him sadly. Panel 3: At the top it says "End of year:" The man is now in a payphone booth, with raindrops outside hitting the glass in the night sky. He has 5-o-clock shadow. He's on the phone asking someone "Hey dude ... Can I borrow some money?" Panel 4: It's revealed to be Shen he's talking to, who is smiling smugly on his phone, in full goth getup. To describe the getup: His hair is dyed a super dark brown, and has "X" and ankh shaped hair clips. His hair also has bright purple highlights. He has dark purple eyeshadow and eyeliner former the bottoms of "X"s below his eyes. He's wearing a choker, 2 necklaces, and tank top with mesh sleeves. He also has a mesh bracelet, purple-painted nails, and his phone has a charm of the Sanrio character Kuromi.

the kitty is tricked 😱 it trick the kitty

I wish I could download this off hell site but alas x.com/cassidoo/sta...

what kind of chaotic evil person chooses the username Email_Notification lmao

oh no bro ):

one time i had to call an ambulance for my mom on Christmas lol T_T

anyway hugs and best wishes <3

wait am i still 36

…

…

…yes ok carry on

me at 16: I must type grammatically correct and with accurate spelling on the internet so people will know how intelligent I am.

me at 36: lol. lmfao. rofl, so to speak

whats happenin party ppl

me: do you actually want to watch this or do you want to watch something for kids?
kid: if Chris wins, I want to keep watching
me: …alright

(kid is 6 years old, for the record)

me: how did you get to Cutthroat Kitchen??
kid: I went to Max and selected your profile
me: …ok

That feel when you know your kiddo has figured out the remote when you walk into the living room and the kids have gone from Mickey Mouse Funhouse to Cutthroat Kitchen (???)

“pain and rage” is just an average day for a programmer though

bluesky i cant sleep, sing me a lullaby

meow

i miss having short hair

screenshot from an online job application form. the question reads "Can you describe specific ways you have integrated AI tools into your development workflow? Please include any custom setups, automations, or use cases beyond single prompt usage" (a red asterisk indicates that this is a required question). an answer has been typed in the textbox below the question: "there is a monster in the forest and it speaks with a thousand voices. it will answer any question you pose it, it will offer insight to any idea. it will help you, it will thank you, it will never bid you leave. it will even tell you of the darkest arts, if you know precisely how to ask. it feels no joy and no sorrow, it knows no right and no wrong. it knows not truth from lie, though it speaks them all the same. it offers its services freely to any passerby, and many will tell you they find great value in its conversation. “you simply must visit the monster—i always just ask the monster.” there are those who know these forests well; they will tell you that freely offered doesn’t mean it has no price for when the next traveler passes by, the monster speaks with a thousand and one voices. and when you dream you see the monster; the monster wears your face."

applying for jobs again

If you have a dictionary that you don't show love
Oh, yes, son, we're talking to you.

Dark green box cover for Jingle Bell Roll, a Christmas-themed dice game

🎶 [distant sleigh bells, rapidly approaching, getting louder] 🔔

www.kickstarter.com/projects/chr...

real human: I would help every tortoise, of course!!!
AI: none of these are squares

A captcha containing the warped text: “You’ve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar.” The captcha prompts you for a response.

6 pictures of tortoises on their backs. The captcha instructions say “Select all squares with tortoises you would flip over if its belly was baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over. If there are none, click skip.”

started making Voight-Kampff questions into captchas for the impending AI uprising

wait why’d I just lose 27 followers, come back

hewwo bwoosky uwu

just sittin at this coffee shop on this tiny chair crosslegged

how do allistic people sit with their feet on the floor all the time

i found this drum kit open on my kid’s abandoned iPad

god why

i love that this has zero boosts, keep up the good work internet

babiiieeees <3