it's funny how normally i use a website to buy an onion and now The Onion is buying websites

*patrick stickles on The Monitor voice*

shut da fuck up about the podcast transcript

Sometimes I read people’s charts from the ED and it says things like “head trauma from eating tiramisu on a bike without a helmet” and I just keep scrolling.

very tall bart @TallBart Joker: I'm smoking that GAS Batman 😈🚬 Batman (tied to a chair): Joker no those are stems. You're smoking mids Joker Joker: Uh ohhh Batman... I'm rinsing out my grinder 😈🚿 Batman: Nooo the kief [thrashes against restraints] 10:52 AM • 7/26/22

Man Practices Haircut Request Before Heading To Barber

Man Practices Haircut Request Before Heading To Barber theonion.com/man-practices-haircut-re...

TMZ @TMZ Hulk Hogan Took Lethal Amounts of Fentanyl Daily After Divorce from Linda http://tmz.me/14tKQv9

Those are my vitamins, brother

I think you can partly tamp down on this if you explain

"Housing developers and landlords are two different groups. Some developers do wish to rent-seek, but if they're building homes to be sold to private buyers, they are by definition not rent-seeking. They just want a one-time profit."

hand approaching macbook pro with a usb A flash drive. The macbook only has USB C ports. Text: Fig. A: User protected from threat

Practical information security

Mii of the Dell Dimension 2400 in Tomadachi Life Living the Dream for the Nintendo Switch, with long flowing hair

my girlfriend asked if she could make a Mii for my island and handed this back to me 30 minutes later.

freak the fuck out and panic sell everything right now

one required, but sadly enormous, shift in the way americans view things: recovering an understanding that a democratic government is a collective enterprise that should deliver tangible services and benefits to people

The Achewood "Hey guys! Guess who just got yelled at" panels

[sees that Why unblocked everyone]

Its good and natural for mods to hate the users and users to hate the mods. Know your history.

me when I'm paid to be a technical advisor on a platform with millions of active users

Thinking about going to the library this week around lunchtime just to yell at these people

atomic wedgies were invented for
guys like simon

tfw you've never had a real problem in your entire life

Anthropic investigates report of rogue access to hack-enabling Mythos AI ‘Handful’ of people allegedly gain unauthorised access to model adept at detecting cybersecurity vulnerabilities

"Rogue actors have breached the Mythos protocols, potentially giving them access to all the world's software vulnerabilities" is the kind of problem that by all rights should be solved by Tom Cruise sprinting through an airport

woke up from my brother's snoring. i'm going to fucking die

i cannot find the post anywhere but every time anyone posts the vampire survivors deckbuilder i think about the tweet that was like ‘from the makers of crack cocaine, comes black tar heroin’

Starting a mid-decade redistricting war only to end up with -1 seats is the same fine strategic genius and subtle grasp of game theory that brough us the Strait of Hormuz.

The implicit media consensus is that urban voters should not be able to overrule rural voters, but that rural voters should be able to overrule urban voters, an assumption so axiomatic and unquestionable that nobody even understands they're making it.

A CRT television shows a menu screen from FF6 and the character MOG

BRB, mogging

road trip to a place: kinda rough but full
of anticipation and energy
road trip away from place: tired of eating out, tired of car, out of forum threads to catch up on

tomorrow is day 2 of my road trip home from minnesota and i predict it's gonna suck ass

staying in a fancy hotel for a few days is nice but nothing hits like returning to your shitty little apartment where all your garbage ass crap is

A graphic labeled The Mood Meter with axes labeled Low Energy to High Energy and Unpleasant to Pleasant. The Low Energy/Unpleasant corner is labeled “Mom would be sad” and the High Energy/Pleasant corner is labeled “Let’s fucking goooo”

Markets ping-ponging between bottom left and top right corner every time someone schedules or cancels a meeting about Iran

First saw this story over on Threads, and people really, really, really did not like anyone correcting misinformation about their misreading of the story. We seem to be moving to some sort of post-reality where people just want fake stories that reinforce their beliefs.