This you, Pete? Take off, eh?

Evergreen advice for all journalists:

“If someone says it’s raining and another person says it’s dry, it’s not your job to quote them both. It’s your job to look out the window and find out which is true.”

Andrew Carnegie was once the richest man in America.

He was no saint, but he spent the last third of his life building schools and libraries and concert halls and hospitals with his money.

Elon sent a car into space.

Are folks here following the Grok Scandal? Apparently there’s significant evidence that Grok was compromised at some point in the last 48 hours by a code intrusion that instructed it to avoid disparaging Musk or Trump.

And the entity supposedly pointing a finger at Musk for all this...

...is Grok.

Germany: still not unified. 🇩🇪

Dear media: please report the news like this: “Trump lied and said Zelenskyy has a 4% approval rating” NOT “Trump says Zelenskyy has a 4% approval rating” and then 6 lines later: “a claim that appears to be without merit.”

See the difference? One spreads misinformation and the other is YOUR JOB.

Dude, YOU guys aren’t gonna have a vote come midterms, let alone the citizens of an annexed nation. The best part is this isn’t just a dense take, it’s the exact same take AP had a week ago. So not only are you a fascism enabler, you’re SLOW and UNORIGINAL at it, too.

Marco Rubio Is Walking into a Trap Ukraine still has an opportunity to win the war—if the Trump administration will let it.

Great article.

A big shoutout to Canadian history teachers this week. You guys did your job, and it shows.

Americans and Canadians are very different. While Americans are asking “what would Canada as a 51st state look like?” Canadians are asking “What would a decade -long bloody insurgency look like?”

Hotels: Please reuse your linens to save the environment!

Also Hotels: Here’s a plastic cup wrapped in plastic.

The more chaotic Trump is, the more we need adult leadership in Canada.

Rare earths and minerals, eh? Starting to see a pattern. Has a bit of a Musk to it.

Never gonna happen, ya Orange Weirdo. 🇨🇦🇨🇦

I’ve paid hundreds of dollars to SUBSIDIZE Scarlett Johansen. Why? There is no reason. She doesn’t have anything I need. I have an iPhone, I should make my own movies. Without me paying to watch The Avengers, she ceases to exist as an actor. Therefore, she should become my cherished wife. 🤡🤡🤡

Fact: U.S. Customs and Border Protection seized 43 pounds of fentanyl at the Canadian border in 2024. That’s medium-sized airport bag.

Pssst - it ain’t about fentanyl. Never has been.

It’s -12C where I live and a group of kids has been playing hockey on the marsh right beside Lake Ontario for the past four hours.

Never underestimate how tough Canadians are.

The speed at which the Trump bull is moving through the china shop is designed to make you overwhelmed, lose focus, and lose hope.

Don’t.

Hoo boy. Bet the price of eggs is REALLY gonna go down now.

Not that there was ever any doubt, but Ezra Levant and friends are showing their true colours. Hope Canadians are clocking jersey numbers this weekend. 🇨🇦

I want y’all to remember when we’re paying more for everything in the US and Canada that Trump — and only Trump — did this.

Not DEI. Not Trudeau. Not the “radical left” or the reverse vampires or any other bogeyman they inevitably trot out. Trump. He’s the one who is wrecking your way of life.

The irony of all the loons blathering about the “great reset” not seeing an ACTUAL “great reset” happening in the US right now is staggering.

You think green energy was “too expensive?” The bill for crashing the economy is gonna be … hoo boy.

He sat in a pew and was surprised to hear the Gospel of Christ instead of the Gospel of Donald. Then he attacked that message.

When are evangelicals going to wake up?

5. Money, power and the influence of ordinary people in American politics Americans have long believed that major political donors and special interests have too much influence on politics and that ordinary people have too

Billionaires want to keep us divided so we don’t notice them gaming the system and heading for the hills with our money and our public property. Folks on the right and left agree on this. So, to quote Sinéad O’Connor - maybe it’s time to fight the real enemy. www.pewresearch.org/politics/202...

Honestly impressed by Elon’s ability to make himself LESS liked every single day. That takes commitment.

Guys, guys, guys … it’s not a Nazi salute. Come on. What he was actually saying was “You must be THIS tall to buy the American Government.”

(Well, that and the other thing, too)

So it begins.

Elon Musk raises his arm in the air, which he described as "A cool new fascist salute that I totally invented on my own!"

NEWS IN PHOTO: Elon Musk demonstrates official DOGE dept salute

Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty 1. You own music in so many formats that your collection could be housed in an audio museum. 2. Back in your day, people feared measles more than t...

“Whatever the hell has been going on with your neck for the past decade is now just a straight-up, motherfucking ET situation.” Oof.

www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/sig...