Unwanted fist bumps

Disagree

I’m living

Do you need to dip your willy in a glass of water to get it up, Col?

It’s a carrot and some celery in a pint glass of water in the fridge. Get sucking

Rehydrating the veg

They’re playing If I Had A Million Dollars by Barenaked Ladies in The Breakfast Club in St Pancras

It’s the cover of the Pure Moods compilation album

I’ve got a hot water bottle on one foot and I’m reading a book by Tim Berners-Lee where he keeps going on about how great he is

Horrible thing

I hate that bit of gravel from Project Hail Mary

"lol", i laughed

Some stodgy thomas has made a papier mache grim boy and stuck it out front

Cthulu in the front garden

Incredible to think that it’s been over 26 years since the Willennium

Summoning poo demons from hell

Haha

It’s a pencil drawing on a Post-It note of a contestant from The Traitors with a big head

Here’s @tiggermouse.bsky.social ‘s drawing of Matthew from The Traitors. “I got the mouth wrong but the rest is perfect”

Two telescopes on an Etsy page. One says “First Communion” and the other says “Miss Cream Pie”. They’ve clearly not been engraved

There was a telescope on my Etsy suggestions page (I’m cool). You could get it engraved and these were two examples:

There’s a fellow coming round to switch the gas back on

BBC headline: Royal Christmas cards have a touchy-feely look this year

It’s the royal peado in a photo from the Epstein files

Same vibe

With not just anybody

It’s from Sam Campbell’s Instagram and I keep singing “So we sippin’ that voddy”. https://www.instagram.com/mcdonaldscomedy?igsh=bmRmaGl5NTF1eWlk

Taking a long weekend just before Christmas

Ricky Gervais: “A dog”
*pulls serious face*

I can’t believe Craig David was number one only ten years after One Foot in the Grave started

Skibadi Toilet is two years old, grandad

I referenced Craig David to two colleagues in their twenties and they gave me a blank stare. And rightly so, 7 Days was released 25 years ago. It’s all Labubus and Skibadi Toilet, get with the programme

It’s The Northern Boys singing “Let’s go to nirvana, baby” from Crack

Me when I find a Wilko that’s still open

Hang on a minute

Coffee. Snacks. Nice Time

Swordfish (2001). Hugh Jackman being tested by John Travolta to do some hacking while having a gun to his head and being sucked off

What is the most deeply-affecting scene in the history of cinema?