had a dream last night i landed a double kickflip and then posted about it so here i am fulfilling the part i can do

A screenshot of a text from Amazon. Amazon: Your package was delivered! (attached is a picture of a box with a piece of paper that reads DO NOT GO OUTSIDE) The receiver sends a question mark as a response. Amazon sends another picture with the same piece of paper on the box, but the words are covered in blood along with the message "JUST KIDDING :)" in blood.

alright

maps: there’s a road closure ahead

me knowing it recently reopened: 🚗

maps: in 600 feet make a sharp left

me: 🚗

maps: proceed to the route

me: 🚗

maps:

me: 🚗

ballet dancer dramatically breaking free from chains

how it feels ignoring google maps directions

but can it chase its dreams

i just saw everyone hanging out at the straight of hormuz after i was told it was closed wtf

captains in the hormuz chat

that’s how podcasts are born

lol

hey i’m thinking of getting into crime does anyone know if the FBI director is blacked out currently

brown and white puppy with white sock paws

brown and white puppy omg she’s so cute

bluesky meet Persimmon Calzini say hi to her right now

you’re welcome to sit down

“bluesky’s likes per day are dropping” ok maybe we’re just trying not to crash the site you’re welcome to

what if it happened while the servers were down

survived another tax season. or as billionaires like to call it, April

5 more min

sorry about the outage. thus place only exists in my consciousness

i’m still laughing about that duplo guy who said creatives need to use AI or drive for uber

that would be a different thing!

cooksmaxxing wherein i cook a ton of food

priest: and so wise king solomon said “i will cut the baby in half”

me: ohhh. i get it. baby was a worm

priest: no it was a test

me: risky test. what if he’s not a worm

another win for donny

i don’t need a deep dive into the economic system of bikini bottom but on what income was patrick buying krabby patties

i think it’s a lego for toddlers

fellas is it creative if you didn’t use AI?

leper: also i’m starving. could really go for some fish and/or bread

jesus: ok that’s only for subscribers

jesus: you’re cured

leper: but how?

jesus: i’m a doctor

i know