I still mourn for the hot dogs. Those were amazing.

Oooohhhh. Sorry, that’s not the correct Tumblr user identifier reply. 🙁

I like your shoelaces!

a man in a suit and tie is saying " it 's not fair " ALT: a man in a suit and tie is saying " it 's not fair "

So I have to do what the Constitution says but Trump makes up his own rules?

It’s part of Vatican III. Just starting to launch it. 😂

Is ‘angry at the government’ a legitimate reason for a sick day?

I think the orange one was disappointed that missiles didn’t come out of the chimney when they elected him pope.

I just can’t anymore. Someone take his phone away. Quick question, can a regular American citizen impeach the president? Or invoke the 25th Amendment? No one else seems to be moving on this.

Mecka-lecka-hi mecka-heinie-ho!

Anyone else feeling like this whole government thing is hopeless? And gets more hopeless by the minute?

Dad, I told you to stay in the car! My friends think your dancing is weird.

The word is per-I-lous. Not per-uh-lous. It’s an I. Not a U.
I weep for the diction of this nation. (Among so many, many other things.)

I swear to God if the smoke comes out orange when they elect a new Pope…

My trauma lasagne has so many layers I fear it won’t fit in my oven.

📌

Happy birthday! (in case I forget on Friday because I’m old af)

Me, too. We can get through this together!
I’m looking forward to going to bed ❤️❤️❤️

This sums up my entire week.

Considering the state of things, going to bed at 8pm sounds like a great idea.

What’s your favourite acting role by a singer? Mine’s Noah Reid as Patrick Brewer.

I hope your little one is doing well! My three NICU babies are now 24!

Just like Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and show me their citizenship papers.” I hate it here.

So much this. Life has been shitting on me for a year and this election may put me over the edge.

Reverse it and it would make an incredible reality show - Pimp Wars.

That would be worse than lice, I think. Glitter reproduces faster.

Awww…thanks!

a cartoon of a coyote standing on a cliff with the words beep beep below him ALT: a cartoon of a coyote standing on a cliff with the words beep beep below him

What about anvils?

Ski poles? They can’t even ski over to get their things? Are snowshoes acceptable?

I initially read ‘spearguns’ as asparagus and wondered why they’d care if their pee got smelly.

Glitter. The herpes of craft supplies.