I made this for @smith13.bsky.social so I'm going to post it here. He can share his version with added text if he wants!

Okay this is why I'm not a graphic designer BUT holy shit it's like a mini bioraptor.

I can't release stuff in the backyard due to Dog who will happily murder anything larger than an ant, but is surprisingly gentle with and loves children, other dogs, and cats.

So into the rosemary hedges in the front they go.

I love most bugs and reptiles. My husband and my youngest daughter are both squeamish with crawling/flying things, so it's up to my or my eldest daughter to rescue anything that gets in. Except flies, ants, and black widow spiders. They die.
Everything else gets caught safely and released out front.

Yup! I'd never seen one before in SoCal. Freaky looking.

I mean it's not TERRIBLE but it's weird to have horse heads poking out of glowing spacetime rifts.

They knew how many were vaccinated at the ER by checking for their 5G signals, Spontaneous Human Magnetism, and Vax Shakes.

If you go to the ER and they try to stick a spoon to your forehead, that's why.

I found this on my front porch and I'm now convinced there's an alien invasion underway.

So... That's Arrowhead Stadium in KC. I can't think of why he'd want to bomb KC, but we're talking about Donald Trump.

Otherwise I'd just feel completely helpless ALL the time.

Also, the SNRIs probably help.

No it makes sense. You sit there with your hands gesturing outward, shouting "Oh come the fuck on, how is he NOT in the Hague right now?!?" daily, right?

That's a normal reaction. That's why I'm in martial arts. I can't stop a lot of bad things from happening, but I can at least control ME.

I'd just like to announce that I'm testing for my brown belt intermediate next month and I've spent the last 2 months practicing disarming someone with a knife and then turning it on them, just in case anyone was wondering how things are going here.

Oh, and I'm looking into tantos.

I know we're taught by therapists that we have to process these things and find healthy ways of addressing them etc, but I'm on team Forget It.

What can you do, that you enjoy, that takes ALL of your focus and strength?

I've stopped giving a shit. Whatever happens in that regard is beyond my control, although his dumbfuckery negatively impacts me directly in so many ways, so I spend more effort actively ignoring it. Karate and Tantojutsu have been very good for that, for me.

I have a stake-puller that will probably work.

Oh cool, so that worked.

I converted because I felt the warmth of God during Mass. Others convert because they're brain-damaged. Go figure.

I met him once, 7 years ago. It's not an act: he's really that nuts. He was promoting a book he allegedly wrote at some little home improvement convention in Pasadena. He had a space in someone else's booth.

I was afraid to get my picture taken with him, so I took it at a safe distance (30m).

So Garey Busey is apparently still alive, which I had forgotten, so that's nice.

Follow-up: I have a tree that planted itself in my backyard, likely due to a squirrel that may or may not be @docdeezwhat.bsky.social having stolen some loquats from a neighbor's tree, eaten them, and dropped/pooped the seeds into a corner of my backyard.

But I have a machete and a spade.

Well this looks promising.

You have to admit that it's a pretty safe place to park a car.

Holly berries??

Oh my God where do I find this dashboard maneki neko??? WANT.

Serious question: why does literally every bag of microwave popcorn say "DO NOT USE YOUR MICROWAVE'S POPCORN SETTING" on it, and every microwave has a Popcorn button?

Can't someone find another use for that button? It seems like an awful waste. Can I heat up some brisket on the popcorn setting?

New coffee shop opened on Lambert, sounds kind of mediocre.

Oh I forgot to add the little footnote for the asterisk.

*Many stiff and sticky socks

Oh come on, this is a real banger.

I kept expecting him to say "Stwike him, centuwion, very wuffwy!"

I probably spent most of the morning making this picture. No idea why, except for the fact that I finished season 2 of Fallout and Macaulay Culkin's role in this season inspired me.