the popeyes 5-piece blackened chicken tenders combo with mashed potatoes & a biscuit is 51 grams of protein btw.

things keep happening (derogatory)!

their loss

spooning leftover compote onto cake scraps for breakfast

using my fake nails as a shoe horn so I don’t have to untie my gym shoes.

called a health insurance company to get quotes & could tell the guy felt so bad for me lmao

if this is your third or fourth time seeing these, get over it!

I could contribute nothing but verbal head nods, “oh gosh,” “how neat,” & “yeah for sure” & this man would think we’re getting along so well just sh**t me at this point.

I love the NFL team called the Detroit Lions.

heating pad, soft blanket, raspberry leaf tea, & 500 mg of ibuprofen.

I don’t want to go to the gym I want to work on my fragrance spreadsheet.

we’re recharging together

if you, as a man, approach me in the gym & I smell like deep fried onion rings from the county fair that’s your punishment & frankly, more than you deserve.

I think a hot pastrami sandwich could fix me right now.

Told my father about the AG pick & he pulled out the fattest joint I’ve ever seen & went nonverbal.

please i don’t want to yearn anymore i want to experience.

why am i, as a hot brunette woman, doing my own yard work?

he’s just a guy