Dear NBA,

I KNOW it is all about the money and you don’t care about our convenience, but this having to use 3 different streaming services to watch playoff games each night is, (and I say this with all the love I can for the game,) complete horseshit.

never make fun of someone who hasn't heard of something cool. you get to introduce them to a movie or an album that will change their aesthetic perspective. don't get so excited to act cool that you forget to actually be cool for once

Amazing the circumstances in which they want to assert the necessity of precision in language. As a white guy, I’m sorry.

That’s not really accurate though. I am on every single republican mailing list, and I have given exactly zero dollars to republicans or their causes.

I do use single purpose emails, though, and the solicitations all come to joyce@joshuag.com - which is the address I’ve used to email my rep

My “not involved in sex trafficking” press conference is raising a lot of questions already answered by my press conference.

Fully automated gay race communism

Just out here casually dropping proverbs in the replies.

Damn fine cup of coffee.

A photograph of Jay O. Rothman, former president of the University of Wisconsin, pictured looking very much like a dude about to be - or just having been - fired.

Nobody has ever looked more like a president getting fired by the board of regents

Trump is a malignant narcissist whose admiration for Hitler is driven not by his anti-semitism, but rather for the way that Hitler has captured the enduring attention of the world.

Trump knows he won’t be beloved. His only path remaining to secure his legacy is to become history’s greatest monster

They are the absolute worst

I really, really want to be wrong about this.

Armageddon is terrible, but our only other option was diversity trainings at work.

Memes image of Aragorn and Theoden with undercuts and earrings saying "Chat, the beacon notification just hit. Gondor's asking for a carry" and "Say less."

Was feeling melancholy, but then I dug up Theoden with an undercut from my vault of memes

Each one of those three missiles costs 33% more than the annual budget of the national park where I work.

But where else can we imprison Le Comte de San Luis Obispo?

every single one of these fired losers will sycophantically praise trump on the way out and as soon as he dies will claim they were fired for being the only person in the room to dare to stand up to him

Operation Straycat Coyote

This is the weirdest dungeon session

I don’t know about mass boycotts, but I have to imagine that a lot of folks aren’t going to want to be randomly deported to a third country by quota-happy ICE agents

Great nick, but way too literate for Trump.

Where’s the lie?

introducing a bill requiring all students to learn how to make the cool S

Congratulations on your recent powerball win

If your president requires non-stop participation trophies, he might not be the tough guy you imagine him to be.

You’re why Jay had to step down

Nah, I like heavy metal like nickelback

and if you get fewer ad views?

You’re almost there!

“Good catch. I was interpreting the radar imagery as a 2d plane and so missed the conflicting trajectories. But explosions are based, right?”

I feel bad for you. I don't think at all.

“We’d like to make even worse trades than the one currently sinking our franchise. “