chores being clearing a path for a goat pasture fence with a machete

thanks, record store listening stations. I didn't know what 'Alternative' and 'Electronica' were and had like 25 dollars from chores

the first two CD's I bought with my own money were Aphex Twin's 'Drukqs' and Smash Mouth's 'Astro Lounge'

neighbor has been power washing his blindingly white driveway for two days. what is he hiding. is this a fugue state

hi, my name is Mom Explosion

i really need to watch my shit talking at work now with the 'ai companion' meeting notes on by default

banger album. 'Bike' is so chill

powerful stance on this rabbit

naming my next Cyberpunk character Stevia Lexapro

they're projecting your ass on the wall of the cave bro. the prisoners within only dimly perceive your shadow bro.

don't worry guys. i didn't think of any bangers while blusky was down

how are you serving jesus on this easter sunday. honey glazed. smoked. covered in cherries and pineapples

i've invented "gin for kids" by boiling a pine cone in capri sun

when i die donate my organs to the donkey sanctuary. don't know what they'll do with them. maybe sell them for carrots

i made my mashed potatoes into a skull for you. i put peas in each of the eyes

side effect of having a million hobbies i guess

is there another term for these? you know, the "these X steps" and "this is the ONE thing" kinda crap

my media recommendations are being flooded with with what i'm calling "instruction slop"

photo of an adorable dung beetle rolling a giant ball of poo

last dung ball till the weekend. then monday we rollin again

shower so hot i'm technically pasteurized

when you hear that 'ding' sound over the intercom in a grocery store it means they are culling an employee for their meat

you missed happy hour, now its suffering hour

gently folding you into a crane and setting you on the window sill

every time you make an account online a baby angel explodes

love to spend my free time in the rutting-hall of the creatively bankrupt and morally vacant

god forbid you try to write an unreliable narrator

don't pay your rent just tell your landlord april fools

TV taught me your value is based on how many devices you have

"based on the critically acclaimed creepypasta"

what color is your egg, hawk