AI hater reporting for duty 🫡

Cat letting me know from the other side of the door that my shift as pet butler has begun

Lol someone just introduced me as "chill" over email like holy shit have you seen what happens when I see a duckling??? 😭

It is profoundly unjust that we have to live this way. It doesn’t make any fucking sense and it’s driving me insane

Sometimes it bothers me that I'll never know what my cat named me

got possessed by the Weed Ghost again. he made me smoke so much weed

An older woman with gray hair in a track suit. She’s smiling, in the middle of a standing side stretch. She looks maybe 70 years old. You wouldn’t know it to look at her, but the woman is actually 104. At least, by the calendar. She was born in 1909. At age 15, however, she disappeared while playing in the woods close to her family farm in western New Jersey. Weeks of searching for her—either living or dead—came up empty. Eventually she was presumed dead. Until 1943, when she suddenly reappeared in the very same woods she had been lost, not looking a day over 16. She claimed to have fallen asleep in 1924 and woken up in 1958. Her parents had both died, and her younger brother, now aged 44, had taken over the family farm. He took his older sister in, and raised her as his daughter. In those early years after her return she sometimes remembered the dream she had in the woods back in 1924. When she does, she breaks down in tears.

STRETC.BMF

There is a version of this world that could exist where, at any given time, the majority of humans beings are just chillin’ and eating fruit.

One cool thing about unequivocally hating AI is that you will be proven right over and over again every single day

Banger cormorant eye footage today 🪶

The server complimented me on how prepared I was when ordering my food and coffee. It’s possible to win at ordering and this is a normal thing to want

This country provides limited support—of any kind, social, cultural, financial—for caregivers, who do incredibly important and valuable work.

It's annoying that we already had so many existing problems to solve before these assholes created a bunch of new ones for no reason

Good morning to the birds.

Seems unfair that you only get to use the bouncy slide to get off a plane when things have gone wrong. The bouncy slide should be a treat they give to the best passengers who did the flight correctly.

the other night I put on hand lotion and briefly trapped myself outside my bedroom

Not to be controversial but I think we should use tools and resources to make people's lives less miserable instead of more

Everything's better with kimchi

I would just like to let everyone here know I put kimchi on a hotdog and I’m never going back.

I hope I live long enough to see the pendulum swing back to kindness and hope because I just can't fathom how this level of hatred and selfishness is sustainable.

"what are we doing here, folks?"-HCR hit this morning, honestly, what is happening.

"oh, so you're saying--" no. i'm saying the thing i said, not the thing you made up. go back and read the thing i said

Tell you what, it is a pretty beautiful experience to live in a house with someone who is roughly one million times braver than you.

none of the gotcha examples of "out-of-control scientific spending" bother me in the slightest. isn't science about finding shit out? "they spent a million dollars of taxpayer money to see if they could make mice sexier" okay, well, what was the answer? I want to know too

Is there a word for being hyper-productive while also still not catching up on one's to-do list

CLICKHOLE LIFESTYLE Groundbreaking Discovery: Paleontologists Have Agreed To Start Saying That Stegosauruses Had Beautiful Singing Voices Because It's A Nice Thought And It's Not Like They're Hurting Anyone OCTOBER 16, 2017

this is where i'm at mentally these days

I'm currently obsessed with harvesting lavender and my boss doesn't understand why I'm not into clubbing instead. sir, priorities.

water left in a glass overnight tastes bad because it gets haunted