No, I was not best friends with Jack the Ripper. No, I did not call him “Rippie” when we hung out. No, I was not involved in his antics. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

So you’re telling me there’s a chance

becoming immune from outrage when encountering weapons-grade takes by slowly teaching myself how not to read

This man could have a podcast about how great i am and id still rather kms than listen

*listening to an hour and a half of nails on a chalkboard* hell yeah this shit goes so hard

is that a “yeh i’ll pay you to say stuff” orrr

May have to think about it

Some guy from a gain commercial that apparently looks like me

was recently told i look like this gain commercial guy so if anyone wants to hire me to say four words on camera I’m available

a ceasefire but it’s me saying i’ll stop beating you up and then immediately grabbing you by the arm and making you punch yourself in the face while i scream “quit hitting yourself quit hitting yourself“

Counterpoint: yes it was

I’m going to invent a kind of pizza you can boof

Artemis II this Artemis II that. That’s great and all but I’m starting to think that Ar-time-is coming II an end.

I don’t care if it causes me physical pain and agony I’m not going to the restroom on my lunch break y’all are gonna pay for this shit

at this point my retirement plan is hoping a well insured semi truck pulls out in front of me on the highway

Feel like this ceasefire is a lot like when I posted a couple days ago that I was going to finally turn my life around and become respected and happy.

Ceasefire but it’s me deactivating my account

Thanks gene it’s about time some appreciates this talent

sorry, skeet*

so when does this app start paying me to post

oh okay nevermind then

DOES ANYONE KNOW IF WE HAVE HUMANITY TOMORROW

tyfys

What’s the pay

has anyone checked polymarket for significant bets on nuclear war yet

you’re not my real dad

guy who stops smoking weed because it causes him anxiety but starts reading the news instead

lofi beats to feel an impending sense of doom to

aye yo?

i think my batteries are about to die tho

*guy cheering on nuclear war voice* why aren’t people having babies?