That Thing You Do losing beat original song is THE biggest Oscars snub of all time. That movie lives and dies by how good and catchy that song is and it totally works

Fuck state testing in public schools FOREVER

I feel like Sun Tzu really missed out on "Invent Pete Hegseth and give him to the enemy"

I subscribed to @theonion.com and get the physical edition, which I leave out, and my soon-to-be middle schooler has been peeking at it. Could not be more proud. Raising him right.

Weak. My Subaru can finish this in under 10 if that half marathon is on I-75 South to Atlanta

I'm doing research into the early-to-mid nineties for book reasons and man it's a real kick to the face to be confronted with how many places there used to be to get paid well to just ... write about art. Music, movies, television ... so much writing FOR MONEY!

I love when you stumble upon a forgotten piece of the original internet. Look at this Geocities-ass compendium of scans of every single issue of Billboard! www.worldradiohistory.com/Archive-All-...

This is very “I don’t need drugs to get high, I’m high on LIFE”

Despite the regrettable pun, this is 100% true

A truck carrying a million bees crashed in Knoxville. The city is abuzz.

A brown lab asleep under my airplane seat

A gray-muzzled boxer staring up with big puppy dog eyes from the floor in an airplane seat

There’s a service dog under my seat and one across the aisle and I’ve truly never been happier on an airplane (if only I could pet them, but they’re very good working dogs!)

Eating raw oysters before boarding a flight is psychotic. This brought to you from my stroll around the Philly airport.

i hate that we all talk like fucking incels now

this is big "that's not how that works ... that's not how ANY of this works" energy

Hey, thanks for this. I needed a little brain break after writing all day and this was the PERFECT thing

Jesus Christ, will you take him already

This novel is being written by a first grader high pixy stixx and Mountain Dew code red. The NYT Book Review calls it “an uneven but audacious swing”

It’s been replaced by the kool aid man

the priest, holding up a wafer: …& this is the body of christ.
me, from way in the back: YES CHEF!

It will never not be insane to me that children dance to Crank That at baseball games

Our 6’9 defenseman just scold 2 min into 2OT!!!! Ice Bears win!!!!!

Hoosiers never went past regulation in my days! They barely went past the half

My Ice Bears blew a 2 goal lead in the 3rd and now we’re going into DOUBLE OT being a fan of this team is TORTURE. Forward my mail to the Knoxville Civic Coliseum.

and then the same person is like WELL WHY DIDN'T SHE COME FORWARD SOONER

because of you, Ed. It was you.

All four astronauts standing in the aisle with their roller bags waiting for the door to open.

I can still feel the satisfying click of the knob that changes the channel on this thing

Student housing is often priced per bedroom, ie what an individual student (or more likely, their parents) will pay, and makes the entire cost of a single unit for 2-3 students higher than if that same 2-3 bedroom were being rented by a couple with a kid

Hot dogs with ketchup only

Today was a really good day and I fucking needed that so bad.

Yup. They’d fold him like an old newspaper