DEEEEEVS!! Yeah, she's a famous ADHD person plus twat

Silly I know but I’ve penned an ode- or poem if you will- to my new favourite app, bluesky. Be kind in your judgement I beseech you my liege!. lol 🪶

She'd be in a coma by now if she did

Is that the one with the mermaid boobs in it?

It is simultaneously horrible yet absolutely amazing. Get it.

IT'S CHRIIIIIIIISSSTTTMMAAAASSSSS! #cans

I'm very, very special

Whereas I've fitted a camera in mine for you and you blocked it. Rude.

Well, it's not as good as speed, but...

I've accidentally already bought another sort of shower gel because of my ADHD, so he's good to go 😁

12 year old is being so teenagely annoying tonight that I might give him the Lynx Africa body wash that I bought for a joke Xmas stocking filler.

I'm too sophisticated for gravy tits now. I'm all about the bechamel sauce on my *friend pulls me away with hand over my mouth*

Bless your heart that that's what 'top' makes you think 😏

I know I'm getting old because I've just got excited at the thought of heating up some nice soup. Going to sit in my Shackleton's high-backed chair with a tartan blanket over my knees and watch Crown Court on my black and white telly while I eat it.

Cor, I prefer a fountain, but they're both brilliant. Me and my son just sat there watching The Simpsons and eating our Dib Dabs in perfect happiness, it was ace 😊

"Ultimately impatience has me mistakenly inhaling it" is the name of my ADHD sex tape

🤣🤣🤣 You've got to load the receptacle (lolly or licorice) then slam it down onto your tongue and hold it in place like the powdery bitch it is until it starts to dissolve.

Rubbed by eyes and somehow had sherbert in my fingers 😭

In OWWWW JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH news, I've accidentally got sherbert in my eye

*not a euphemism, Den

I am having a Sherbert Dib Dab and they are every bit as joyful at 51 as they are at 5

The whole of Paw Patrol needs to be ritually slaughtered on live global TV.

A healthy balance, then. True romance!

GREAT. 👍

And there's no Mrs McCann, I'm guessing... ?

Jesus Christ, my son virtually never farted as a small child but now he's 12 it's just constant guffing. Is this what his puberty is going to be like for me, just choking on a miasma of trumps, spunk and Lynx Africa?

Well, obviously Holmfirth...

Meanwhile, over on Twitter, we've got a lady claiming that eating meat is the same as fucking animals, so just a very normal day for Twitter.

I'm going to approach them with the idea tomorrow.

Dr Martens are going to have to bring out a range like this once Gen X starts hitting 70.