Oh my gosh it’s 30° out, it’s practically summer

You’re telling me a dad creamed in this soda?

This rapture could’ve been an email.

The rapture is apparently happening in two days but hey on the bright side, Jesus is back and he’s delivering my Chinese food.

Who let the dogs out? I think we need to ask the more important question: who locked all the dogs up? What were their crimes? Were they given due process?

I finally remembered to wear shorts after two months of heat waves and my arms and legs are two different colors omg

Mfer out here pounding a 20 oz white claw on the train at 10 in the morning

And yet somehow
Mood

(In a work meeting.)
Me: (sneezes)
Zoom: 🙄 Ummmmmm, honeyyyy 😒 you’re mutedddd ✨💅🏼 no one could hear youuuu 🙄 cuz you were mutedddd 🤭

The Carnival - Pt 2 🔨⚡️🪞🤡🔥 #fyp #fypシ #foryoupage #dnd #dndtiktok #dungeonsanddragons #storytime TikTok video by Cody (C7)

Latest episode is out!
The Carnival - Pt 2
🔨⚡️🪞🤡🔥
#dungeonsanddragons #dnd #storytime

SIR, I’M TEN.

Most places do, yeah 🥺

This restaurant has given me an odd number of mozzarella sticks in my order.
What kind of sick power play is this.

I feel dirty. I just put the wrong end of the bendy straw into my drink.

My for you page algorithm did a thing and I don’t like it

The Carnival - Pt 1 🎡🎟️🎠🎢 #fyp #fypシ #foryoupage #dnd #dndtiktok #dungeonsanddragons #storytime TikTok video by Cody (C7)

Latest video out now!
The Carnival - Pt 1
🎡🎟️🎠🎢
www.tiktok.com/t/ZT2g9Smr7/

Ah yes, my favorite fruit and juice.

Blue light bulb or tiny galaxy?

I updated my phone and

I wonder if my boss wants us to send in resumes to him or Antonio

Again, MTA black magic.
Earlier this week, I left 20 minutes early and arrived 15 minutes late.
And today, I left 10 minutes late and I arrived 5 minutes early going to the same location.

How the fuck am I supposed to have faith in this system?
#290ForThisShit

🚊🐺🐱⚡️🕷️💧🏠 #fyp #fypシ #foryoupage #dnd #dndtiktok #dungeonsanddragons #storytime #snippets TikTok video by Cody (C7)

Latest D&D Snippets are out!
🚊🐺🐱⚡️🕷️💧🏠

Is this what friendship is
@dorkborn.bsky.social

I will always stand by that the past tense of screenshot is screenshat

I keep looking at the news and seeing people surprised at what the orange menace is doing.
Ya’ll, the tables haven’t turned.
The table has remained stationary.
People willingly sat at a table with everything laid out in orange and are still surprised at what’s on the table.

Me out here shoving daggers up our Groot’s ass

I take it back, this is what TikTok feels like now

I’m happy TikTok is back
But I sure as hell am not thanking any politicians lol

Kid: "Dad what's leather made from?"

Dad: "Hide".

Kid: "What???"

Dad: "Hide... a cow’s outside".

Kid: "I'm not afraid of a cow..."

That’s so sweet, thank you for telling me!

I was considering uploading here but there’s a length limit lol

So my options are reels, maybe YouTube

The last video I got to see was of the game grumps singing baby shark

So at least my TikTok didn’t end on an ad

#tiktok #tiktokban