The wife got stoned last night & made perfect caramel from scratch. she can only ever make it while stoned. everytime she's sober she over-thinks it and burns it. I imagine others are like that. She's a great chef when she's tipsy.
That's why there needs to be The Great British Baked Off.
Colman Domingo is so smooth that when he goes to sleep at night, sheep count him.
Crumpet croutons are amazing.
I have been sentenced to 9 months hard labor in David Harbour's sex dojo
I laughed
Good morning, BlueSky.
#Caturday
Edward Cullen shirtless and sparkling with text on his chest that says my legs
It’s called porcelain and I’m rocking it. Good morning! 🩷
a scene with one man (labeled "nap-inducing dreary weather") threatening another man (labeled "getting stuff done on the weekend") with a knife
(sleepily) it's the freakin' weekend
Netflix apparently has every movie, except for the ones I want to watch.
It's Friday and I'm watching my Thursday shows, yay.
Mint chocolate chip
read the lottery by shirley jackson yesterday and the parallels to life in america right now have been sitting with me all day
📚 BOOK CHALLENGE 📚
Choose 20 Epic Books that have stayed with you or influenced you. One book per day for 20 days, in no particular order. No explanations, no reviews, just covers.
#BookSky #Books #BookChallenge #20DayBookChallenge
(4/20)
Three panel comic. Panel 1: scene from the movie Aliens; Ripley is in a mech suit and delivers her iconic line: “get away from her, you bitch!” Panel 2: the xenomorph queen lunges at Ripley in the robotic suit and they engage in a fight. Panel 3: later, the xenomorph queen is standing in the shower, mid wash. She says, “‘it takes one to know one, honey.’ That’s what I should have said.”
In order to protect our men, we’ve constructed a labyrinth and trapped Jolene inside it
With a few minor tweaks I dub thee: Brat-a-touille
Garfield: *eats a lasagna very quickly*
Judi Dench: oh Garfield
Garfield: *snores loudly*
Judi Dench: you wretched creature
Garfield: *hits spider with newspaper*
Judi Dench: murderous reprobate
Garfield: *watches tv*
Judi Dench, intensely whispering: soulless twisted thing
I know a lot of people recognize her from Angel but honestly I liked Skordalia so much better in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
"Wrangle that pussy"
A step taken from a cervix self-screening kit reads: 5. Locate your vagina, then gently insert the swab like how you would insert a tampon into your vaginal opening. Rotate the swab as you slowly count to 20, then remove the swab.
Me, reading the instructions to a cervix self-screening kit:
Locate my vagina? Pretty fucking sure it's where I left it, good sir.
Spinal Tap should have had a song called Stairway To Eleven
Trying everyday to get away with not turning on the overhead kitchen light.
I don't care what the scene is, if it's set to 9 - 5 (Morning Train) I'm gonna enjoy it.
Post a picture of yourself as a doctor.
This tells us that you ate pie today (yay!) or yesterday (oh...)
Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto
Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-co...
I tend to mix up my 70s and 80s earworms. All day long, The Night Chicago Just Died in Your Arms Last Night has been playing in my head.
A screenshot of a quote post on Bluesky: rufus @te-kanawa.bsky.social quotes and replies: What movie defines the 80s for you? (Insert gif of Kelly LeBrock in Weird Science) Original quoted post from James Damron @runswindows95: What movie defines the 80s for you? (Insert gif from The Princess Bride depicting Mandy Patinkin saying YOU KEEP USING THAT WORD. I DO NOT THINK IT MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEAN.. to Wallace Shawn) The joke is that both Mandy Patinkin and Kelly LeBrock have the same hairdo.
Who wore it best, Kelly LeBrock or Mandy Patinkin?
Out: New Balance
In: Old Balance
Drop some KITCHENS 🔪⏲️🖤🍽️🥢