welp, i have failed. i got thru View To a Kill, so i at least watched all the SC & RM Bond movies (and the one weird one). but this is easily the most movies i have sat down to watch over a stretch of time in a long time. oh well, maybe theyll appear somewhere 'free' and i can pick it back up again

There is literally no limit to how many Kevins you can be friends with.

New mom hires Amish woman as nanny & is shocked by what she does on day one of the job 🤔

is it build a barn, it’s build a barn isn’t it

me: what are these yellow ones

garden dept: forsythia?

me: no, my girlfriend

*friend asking if he can keep his royal chairs at my glass house* No, we don’t stow thrones either

[chatting with AI Jesus] give me a recipe for you

A family of fuzzy and wavy orange-and-silver-banded Stereum fasciatum mushrooms grow from a fallen log over dead leaves on the forest floor. All photos by me

Here are some nice mushrooms

[behind the scenes of mr beast shoot] how do my teeth look? are they large and bright? be honest are they hard to look at

mistakenly identified a mason bee as a carpenter bee and now their union is up my ass

[loudly within earshot of the universe] i sure hope no one reveals all their cosmic secrets to me today

Yes?? Obviously???

The time it takes to write a joke, from conception to birth, is the jestation period.

I haven’t seen Melania do something this crazy since she asked her friend Jeffrey Epstein to introduce her to Donald Trump.

ME: the existence of papayas imply the existence of mamayas

WAITER: well we don’t have those

Hey, I realize you're all busy with other stuff right now but I wanted to just take a minute to make it very clear that I am not and have never been close friends with the Boston Strangler

She keeps poking me with a hairpin and says I can’t have the antidote if I don’t follow her instructions :(

Saw a couple of pigeons eating a piece of bagel in a park. Real pigeon stuff. I told them good job and keep it up.

Octopussy (1983) was really good though, great location scenery, and the Yo-Yo Blade weapon. This was on HBO a lot when i was a kid and the title still feels like something i shouldnt say out loud lol. Never Say Never Again (also '83) up next then A View To A Kill (1985), the last each for SC & RM

For Your Eyes Only (1981), first without original M as Bernard Lee passed that year. Not my favorite plot wise, but some great underwater scenes.

me: i’ll have the mouse for dessert

waiter: that’s mousse, sir

me: hmm, that might be too much

*guy cheering on nuclear war voice* why aren’t people having babies?

Working hard or flaccid working?

good weekend for trump to die so we can really see how much like jesus he is

getting kick out of the artemis II rocket for continually pressing my ass against the window and asking the captain if he sees the moon yet

[horse sliding a shot of whiskey in front of me] why the short face

rip a whole bunch of ppls’ furniture debt

[reading a book in first person] i dont remember doing any of this

well now..

me: ever heard of quasimodo

him: doesn’t ring a bell

me: i assure you he does

thinking about becoming pure of heart to get all those benefits i keep reading about