but like actually for real this is true

no i have this map of costa rica open for work reasons

I get to the airport at the exact right time every time. Anyone arriving any earlier than me is a sap, anyone arriving any later is a reckless nut.

This Is Just To Say

I have turned off
the AI features
that were in
the update

and which
you were probably
hoping
to monetize

Fuck you
they were stupid
so unnecessary
and so annoying

some days i have Posting Energy and some days i have Replying Energy and one of these is clearly superior to the other

i do because i saw your posts about it! the airplane sommelier of the timeline

can't imagine it being worse for anyone, except maybe people who are scared of jellyfish

it makes one of the two posts seem like a joke but which one could it be

it is honestly very funny to have a work friend whom you can text one minute about losing your will to live and slack the next minute about expected feature behavior

the spongmonkeys were right. we do, as a people, like da mooooon

it's fine this is ordinary behavior for me and yes i understand what that says, it's cool

don't worry about it or anything but i spent a bunch of time reading about various canadian highways and then looking at them on maps

i would like to be transparent to people and opaque to google and meta and microsoft

i don't think they do?

are you telling me this scallion can rap

Star Wars is, at its core, about how weird-looking robot guys and aliens do or do not get along with British people

one milkshake to bring them all and in the yardness bind them

at least we can be secure in the knowledge that every service worker she encounters is talking shit about her the second she leaves their store

hussy behavior by the flowers, all their petals and stamens and whatnot showing in front of god and everybody

floor time is so important

on the plus side your teeth will smell fresh as a daisy

now i don't believe in prisons but maybe she should have to take some kind of a class. "how to not be the most aggravating part of someone's day," things of that nature

she tried to pay

for a coffee - one single coffee and that's all! -

with a $100 bill.

the bakery guy didn't have change for that, understandably! he had to go across the street to the grocery store to get change! the customer HUFFED AND PUFFED about this!!

i was just at the bakery and a customer ahead of me had ordered a coffee, which she sent back as soon as it was handed to her with the instruction "make it hotter." then they brought the new one and she said "double cup!" and honestly that level of annoying is all in a day's work but then:

some of my most beloved friends are getting great things they've wanted for a long time!

To finish it

did it post? did it not? it's a sexy mystery!

did someone try to vibecode a bus (you wouldn't etc)

hey quick question why does it smell like burning plastic on this bus