giving this literally minutes of additional thought and 'oh I would be able to sort and tag and organize stuff which would be pretty convenient for a hypothetical reader' is actually a pretty important selling point to a blog, isn't it?

also fuck meta, obviously

I mean it's not like I've never had a blog before, to be clear. But not for years, and it obviously never took off. Ppl keep telling me to make an instagram? But video format stuff seems like a personal security risk.

I wonder if it'd actually be worth it to start my own blog instead of just hosting everything on patreon. I mean, I dunno if there would be any real practical difference when you get down to it, y'know? But on the flip side, it'd be way nicer to be able to say 'oh check out my blog' or w/e

"If I have to choose between letting fascists kill you or doing something about it, I'll just let them kill you"

And this is why you, too, are an enemy for us to overcome.

Patrick Jonathan Derilus It Always Gets Better A Meditation On The Teleological Limitations Of Narrative, And The Ubiquitous Violence of Optimism I. Optimism As An Ethico-Libidinal Ruse, Negative/Utilitarianism, & (AntiBlack) Desire II. Disavowal Of Pessimism On The U.S. Left, Nihilism, And Negativity as Blackness III. Speculation On Ending Without End

“Utilizing Afropessimism, philosophy, and (negative) psychoanalysis through the cited works of Selamawit D. Terrefe, Julia Reshe, Calvin Warren, Garrett Ross, Arthur Schopenhauer, Jared Sexton, Kennan Ferguson, and Frank B. Wilderson III, culminates in a streams of consciousness-styled critique of the ethical, humanist, and libidinal dimensions of the American Left's ethos (i.e.: keeping hope alive), meditating on the notion that optimism is neither daring nor bold— emanating from a modality in which we garner an uncontested, boundless degree of strength from; inversely, at the structural level, optimism is purely a weapon of antiBlack violence that is tethered to the teleological constraints of hope itself-leaving no space for thorough reflection, critique, and effective action in all liberation movements.”

got my essay published on The Library of Unconventional Lives 👍🏾

thelul.org/library/patr...

(can be downloaded as an epub/pdf.)

tfw I wasn't on the blocklist the weird llm admin used

guess I need to post harder about how llms are unreliable, counterproductive, and proven to make you stupid if you rely on them.

It's also tricky because- and I'm guilty of this too- a lot of us just don't promote our own work much. It feels awkward because, bluntly, I suspect that virtually no one is all that interested in what I have to say, so what's the point in promoting my opinions beyond just saying shit and moving on?

I'll admit that while I try to keep up with the work of trans creatives (of various types) it's actually pretty hard to do so on any sort of systemic level- and I get the feeling that the stuff that I am keeping a track of is a fairly narrow slice based on where I'm at, who I see, etc.

'Why would you do all that? What was the point?'

I was told that doing extracurriculars at university would help me get a better job, unfortunately it wasn't true lmfao

I've also competed at, and won prizes at, national level academic conferences for a student organization I was part of.

At one point I got a check for prize money from one of these conferences, but I lost it, like an idiot.

I spent a year as a 'student senator' of my university's so-called 'student government', despite being terrible at socializing and never actually campaigning, because there were two slots for student senators from my major and only one other person running.

me: there's no way he actually deep fried his own hand
the video: yes he did actually
me: what the fuck why
the video: fuck sis IDK, even he doesn't seem quite sure why

I legitimately keep on being surprised at how tech illiterate tech pests actually are. Like they keep on being like 'look at this new and innovative feature we've just added to our LLM' and it's some basic tool that has existed since MS DOS.

also frankly it seems like a dangerous habit given there's almost definitely duplication of duties where whoever is receiving the shipments etc is probably also going to be logging them, so randomizing entries will just lead to discrepancies in the records that will eventually be audited, but w/e

literally all it needs is a script using math.random to randomize the time, and the sole benefit is being able to bullshit that you were paying attention to logging timestamps when you weren't.

The reason Harris lost is simple; she threw the campaign because she wasn't willing to campaign on the positions the Democrat base held.

Screencap from the US Census page from a year ago (april 30, 2025) showing the turnout from the 2024 presidential election. The relevant section reads as follows: "In the 2024 presidential election, 73.6% (or 174 million people) of the citizen voting-age population was registered to vote and 65.3% (or 154 million people) voted according to new voting and registration tables released today by the U.S. Census Bureau. These data come from the 2024 Current Population Survey (CPS) Voting and Registration Supplement for the November 2024 presidential election, which surveyed the civilian noninstitutionalized population in the United States."

Chart from the US Census, showing reported voting rates between 1980 and 2016. The rates year by year are as follows: 1980 = 64% 1984 = 64.9% 1988 = 62.2% 1992 = 67.7% 1996 = 58.4% 2000 = 59.5% 2004 = 63.8% 2008 = 63.6% 2012 = 61.8% 2016 = 61.4%

'Kamala Harris lost because people stayed at home'

Actually, 2024's election had pretty standard turnout for a US election. Note that this is relative, but typical voting turnout in the US over the last several decades has been at around 60% to 65%, and the 2024 election had 65.3% turnout rates.

Nah, most "leftists" did vote for Kamala in yet another act of anti-praxis; I didn't, I'll say it with my whole chest: I won't fucking vote for anyone complicit in a genocide.

'I didn't have to change my policies at all to appeal to pink-washed fascism'

ok but that's worse. do you not get how that's worse?

"She didn't have to alter her policies at all for a Neocon Civic Fascist to endorse her" is something that tells you a lot about her policies; none of it good.

Like bluntly it's obvious why they've got it out for a guy named Hasan but not a woman named Marjorie, but if you say out loud that the Democrat party is full of racists and that racist islamophobia is core to their party, you'll get swarmed by DNC botnets calling you a russian stooge or whatever

MTG literally talked about how Californian wildfires were the result of 'jewish space lasers' attacking America as part of a Rothschild led conspiracy, but for some reason, the Democrats aren't willing to treat her as being antisemitic in the same way they do 'Israel is committing atrocities.'

She quite literally claimed Iran was our greatest threat, openly said she can't think of a single thing she'd have done differently from Biden beyond add a Neocon to her cabinet, and we found out this week that their administration was planning strikes for his second term.

oof, that sounds awful. What happened, if you don't mind me asking?

I'd say Stardew Valley is legitimately Ghibli-esque but none of the games that copy it understand what makes it so.

"I'm making a ghibli themed video game"
"oh cool. Is it about rejecting authoritarianism, coming to terms with death and suffering, or what?"
"... it's a farming simulator."
"I didn't ask what it was, I asked what it's about."

debate panel but we're all playing laser tag and if you get hit you get removed from the debate (your mic gets silenced) for five minutes as a penalty.

personally I would take it a step further. every contestant has three minutes to argue with me, but first, they need to clear a ninja warrior style obstacle course, and if they fall off, they have to start again from the beginning, all while being viciously heckled by me and my friends, the judges.

it's just so goofy, like yeah bro, you want to argue with me? Improve your three meter dash then. oh you lost? guess you need to vote out your bff in the middle of his argument so you can try again.