called in sick today with everything everywhere all at once

cher is everywhere

always hated ALL those special days at school. and cross country is no joke. apparently, i was on our school team VOLUNTARILY, but it was hard and i trained daily to keep up

also being eleven is complicated enough without “house colors” and cross country. sending you and the kid love and solidarity

a 16 year gap in my résumé that just says “If I could turn back time”

playfully exploding a planet

Two dogs sit patiently on a light-colored tiled floor, each wearing a vibrant raincoat. On the left, Finn, a sleek, black German Shepherd with pointed ears, sports a bright red raincoat. To the right, Alice, a brindle-patterned Boxer-Shepherd with white paws, wears a soft pink raincoat with a patterned collar. They are both connected to a purple dual-leash system held from the bottom of the frame. The background features a white wall with a decorative marble-patterned baseboard and a white architectural column to the right.

Huddle a doorway with the Rain Dogs
For I am a Rain Dog, too

#CityDogFinn #CityDogAlice

a lost and found but for birthday cake in the break room

If you think I spend too much time thinking about food, talking about food, preparing food, and eating food, no I do not.

waiting with bated breath until the results are in

Attention People of Bluesky!

I am trying something new with rice for fried rice.

Please hold your applause until the results are in.

filling my weekly pill organizer with little triggers

I found a gentle breeze in my drafts folder. I hate it when I misfile things.

a lost and found but for Like a river flows Surely to the sea Darling, so it goes Some things are meant to be

These reunions never work.

Breathing and cursing like your ancestors did by the kitchen window, understanding everything now. The sea was out there, in a rage always cursing never breathing it's out there still. But you have dolphin yoga

who up because The stars are not wanted now; put out every one, Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun, Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood; For nothing now can ever come to any good.

stairway to fuck it i'll just wait for you down here

Toad sits up in bed, enthusiastically making a list. From "A List" In *Frog and Toad Together*

One morning Toad sat in bed. “I have many things to do,” he said. “I will write them all down on a list so that I can remember them.”

Saturday Night Fever (Opening Credits) YouTube video by ˢᵏʸꬺтᴠ

Happy Saturday Night Fever if you celebrate 🪩

youtu.be/HVEqy6K18Yo?...

oh good, a typo that makes me look illiterate (it’s “right” not rights)

bsky.app/profile/theg...

a shoulders-up headshot of an ancient chinese crested. his body is mostly hairless, with thin wisps of white. but the fur of his face and ears is forming an enormous heart shape from having been blown out by a fan. he’s rocking the salt-and-pepper look of an ambitious Helena Bonham Carter role, with more black along his neck and a bold gray streak atop his noggin and along the edges of his ears. his left eye is one big cloudy blue cataract.

This is Ricky. He was a runner-up in a pet photographer's "My Fabulous Weirdo" competition. Unfortunately when you are this fabulous, it can be very hard for the weird to shine through. 14/10 #SeniorPupSaturday (IG: portraitsofdogs)

My superpower is answering a reply then realising what it actually meant ten minutes later.

I’m thinking of starting a book club where we never read the book and just eat toasted sandwiches together.

a fun thing to do is write a delightful reply to someone you don’t really know, and then instead of sending it, you backspace rights out of their lives, and throw your phone out the window of a moving car

a lost and found but for Curious George

Alt: black and white dog wearing groovy turquoise sunglasses, just vibing as they swing back and forth on a children’s playground swing, super chill

them: any big weekend plans?

me:

So, who wants to hear a secret i promised never to tell

perhaps he’ll arrange to have someone else taken out, just to give the people lsomething juicy to talk about

Today I will mostly be lying down doing nothing like a Victorian consumptive.