what did one ass cheek say to the other?
nothing, they just clapped

Werner on my Herz until I og

one is a gremlins situation and the other goes by highlander rules

fr tho

knock knock
who's there
hard cock
hard cock who?
he's in the chair watching

sorry it wasn't s funny as our other conversations

me: I took the bins out, it was green bin night and the neighbour asked if there was space. the yard is being managed and I'm doing well, the cats miss you
grandfather:...
me: I'll be okay. everyone is waiting for you and you're not going to be in pain anymore
grandfather:...
me: I love you

omg whoever hacked my insta dm'ed everyone and I am mortified

hinge thinks I'm into gay men, thanks for the suggestion babes but I don't think they're into me

omg I wasn't crazy

looks like I'll be talking to myself tonight

I have the capacity to listen to exactly one (1) recapping of a regular dream and then I'm out, give me weird shit or you'll get cut off

mine's a spirit halloween

almost

close

we have a winner

2025 new year resolution is to open the 10 pack of condoms I bought for their intended purpose

I feel like being railed in a sun dress would solve maybe like half my problems

bartender? one right between the fuckin eyes when you've got a sec

audhd aunt to chill with in the backyard during the holidays

"this is what my brat dolls were for" dressing my great grandfather in his pjs just fully lifting a nearly 100 year old man

my hobby is a hooker and my job involves stripping. yeah I'm into crochet and a florist what else would it be?

👍

I'm on other social media and the way I wanted to show support might be too niche so I'll go with "I'm here for whatever this is" 🫶

was going to google "do wasps remember" but honestly I'm not sure I want to know. I haven't done anything untoward I just want to know if it knows I'm chill and I just need to be outside and we can both be there and it's free and legal

my mum ignored me because she had a meeting with the mayor like, your only youngest and eldest daughter? really? oh and you want grandchildren? well maybe ask the mayor then if they're so important

I put the miss back in misogyny

if they erase you in Lightroom they erase you irl

honestly, slay 💅🙏 ✨

who is this diva 😘😘