I really don't want to be alive anymore

My existence is so embarrassing 🥳

I hate being perceived so from now on I'm just gonna not talk or be seen probably for a long time and go back to hardcore lurking 👍🏼

If you see this and if we're mutuals I'm NOT talking about you btw. I'm speaking in general bc this has been ongoing since I was a toddler and it's persisting in my adult life

I wish people would stop being mean to me... Like why does this happen to me all the time, and 100% of the time it's completely unprovoked

I spoke to a doctor who also said this but she also said that the amount of weight I gained in such a small period of time is abnormal. Now I'm getting tested for hypothyroidism 🥲

If I could leave South Africa and live somewhere far from here I'd do it in a heartbeat

nobody gets shake ah like south africans do

and also Intro

On and On & SHAKE AH are Tyla's best songs

I wish I could stop dreaming about the high school I went to. The dreams are always so fun and stuff but I left the school 3 years ago, and it makes me sad that I dream about it so much bc I know a part of me wishes I could've stayed for Matric (grade 12) but in reality the school was very toxic

And guess what. Got my meds refilled. It's still the same fucking brand that's been fucking me over.

Got told that my medication not working isn't because of the brand change but because I need to lose weight as if I haven't been getting testing done to see why I'm gaining so quickly 👍🏼

every day she watches people who talk about it and she constantly gives us updates about the drama and she straight up said "I'm praying on Joni [Lamb's] downfall" 😭 yes grandma spill the tea!!!

my grandma is so invested in this internet christian drama and it's so funny 😭

I have all these games on my laptop and all I care about is Tetra League 😭

So... How do I stop using bright colours in my drawings... I don't know why I keep doing it but I'm not good at colour theory so I don't know how to make anything better work

Crisis averted, I only lost 5 days 🥳

No fucking way I'm about to lose my chat history (for the account that has all my HIGH SCHOOL CHAT HISTORY DATING BACK TO 2017) AGAIN

A2 is hard and it takes a lot of practice so my brain gets overloaded really quickly but I just want to do more than one singular lesson a day 😭😭😭

Begging and pleading my brain to let me do more than 1 lesson a day in Dutch

I so badly want to stream when I change ISP but my anxiety is not letting me...

I've even set up a brand, a new profile pic, a character to portray, etc. But I'm so fucking anxious.

And also I get distracted very very easily if it's not Tetra League...

I'm probably gonna buy masking tape or something 🥲

I could return it but I'd have to pay shipping fees which I no longer have because all my savings went to buying it in the first place

But I'm gonna try to make it work

Unfortunately I look exactly the same but I couldn't have ordered a size smaller because this one is already very tight on me and I struggled to take it off 🥲💔💔💔

It was expensive as hell and I'm broke now but it's so worth it 🥹

I GOT MY BINDER 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

When you're drowsy from your meds and wanna go to bed but then your laptop decides it wants to update <3

I also went from 21st in South Africa at B with 5k TR, now I'm 16th at A- with 9.2k TR

Finally ranked back up to A- and now my match history is finally not depressing as fuck LFG